When we saw this photo of the cast after the Season 17 opening number, we just couldn’t help ourselves. We envisioned dialogue - lots and lots of dialogue. This photo is just way too tempting on so many levels, and the facial expressions tell a whopper of a story. So we decided to just go with it and, of course, we added our own commentary to go right along with the little story that seems so obvious to us. So enjoy the conversation behind this photo.
Elizabeth: "Yep...he's wishing right now that I was Kelly Kapowski."
Val : "In the balcony....is that Kelly Kapowski? Maybe my ringer for Season 18…
Shakes: “Who is Kelly Kapowski?”
SWAT: “You are the only person alive who has no clue who Kelly Kapowski is.”
Bill Nye: "I'm wearing this outrageous shiny suit, and ya know what....I'm owning it. And my scientific mind predicts that our Cha Cha will get 3 million+ views on you tube."
Tyne: "Who cares? I have a damn cramp in my butt from holding this pose.”
SWAT (to Shakes): “Bet you couldn’t get in that position and hold it.”
Shakes (to SWAT): “Bet you couldn’t get away with wearing a shiny suit the way Bill Nye does. You probably don’t even own a bow tie.”
Sharna: "Yeah Tyne, they had me in that pose last season. HaHaHa. That’s our version of an initiation ritual for the newbies. This year I have a giant to sit on. I’m perfectly comfortable."
Keyshawn: "I guess they made me stoop down so there would be room in the photo for everybody else. It sucks being me.”
SWAT: “I wonder how I would look in those gold pants.”
Shakes: “Not nearly as good as I would look in those gold pants – assuming I multiplied the amount of fabric times 14. And if I got down on one knee like that, you would need a forklift to get me up.”
Brant: "I wonder why I still have my shirt on. I heard that all of Peta’s partners strip.”
Peta: "I’m freezing my ass off. Where is that sweatshirt that Out Of Tea sent me last season?”
SWAT (to Peta): “I’ll give you a hundred dollars if you’ll cover up.”
Shakes (to nobody in particular): “I’m gonna go blind this season. I know it."
Leah: “Tristan MacManus is a stud.”
Tony: "Tristan MacManus is a stud.”
SWAT: “Tristan MacManus is a stud.”
Christina: "So you want me to just stand here and try to look sexy right?"
Mark: "Yup...just find someone in the audience to stare at and make them feel really uncomfortable. We’re going to be the sexy team this season."
Shakes: “They must have gotten a discount at the Acme School of Sexy Poses.”
Corbin: “We look so good.”
Karina: “We’re supposed to look good. Notice how we’re smiling at the camera like we were told.”
SWAT: “They look good.”
Shakes: “Yep. This is a match made in DWTS heaven.”
Amber: "Dammit...Lea Michele's here, girl's here to try to steal my spotlight...again....Derek, quit squirming and pay attention to me.”
Derek: "I gotta go potty. It’s over there. I really need to go bad.”
SWAT: “Tee Hee.”
Jack (to himself): "That's right, just cross your arms in front of your chest because you have no idea what else to do."
Cheryl (to herself):"I really wish I could wrap my legs around Jack like Karina is doing to Corbin, but Jack won’t let me touch him. But after Valerie and Tristan, we are the cutest couple this season."
SWAT: “They are pretty adorable, aren’t they?”
Shakes: “And they know how to pose for a photo without looking like they are constipated."
Snooki: Relax, Sash. Loosen up. Remember the days of Jersey shore? I’m thinking you should choreograph a fist pump into our Rumba. Oh wait, why are you doing a fist pump at The Situation?
Sasha: What’s a situation?
SWAT (to anybody who is listening): I wondered the same thing, particularly when he got an encore for his Paso.
Shakes (to anybody who is listening): That’s when I got a WTF tattoo.
Bill E.: "I'm just happy to be here! Just wait until Foxworthy shows up and sits in the audience. Emma, I might have to dress down a bit for Jeff. Rednecks don’t wear sequins or fuchsia.”
Emma: "I'm just happy to be here!"
SWAT: I’m happy to be there too but I’d be happier if Tristan was dancing a Rumba.
Shakes (to SWAT): "They are looking at the ceiling. Didn't I warn you about swinging from it in the middle of a show?"
Valerie: "Eat your heart out Macmaniacs. Take a look at what’s wrapped around me.”
Tristan: "Protect me, Valerie.. I wonder how many MacManiacs I’m going to have to hit with a restraining order…Shakes, SWAT, Reformed Lurker, Out Of Tea, Mrs. ATA, Lincap, Cha Cha, LC…”