First of all, we will preface this post with a huge disclaimer: We both suck at predictions of any kind, and our original predictions of the pairings are laughable, so you can imagine how this will go – since it is all about predictions. Our advice is to just take this all with a grain of salt. This is our perspective on who is going home when, why they are hitting the trail when they are, and what each couple will bring to the competition. Knowing our writing history, you guys can just imagine where this one is going, but in our own little world, this is how we see things turning out. This is all about not only who will finish where, why the “favorites” will knock each other out because of split fan bases, and what each of the esteemed 12 teams (plus the phantom team we still don’t have identified) will bring to the competition.
13. The Unknowns – We’re dumping this team at the bottom because we don’t even know what or whom we’re dealing with. What will they bring? Who knows? We don’t even know which pro or which celebrity so we might as well stick them at the bottom of the pile. It could be Sabrina and Henry (the Dream Team), Sabrina and Sasha (another good option), Sabrina and Dmitry (a great idea), or Sabrina and Louis (not a great idea). It could be Kyle (we think with Lacey but possibly Sharna) or potentially our favorite Carson who we want back because he is pure entertainment, pure fun, pure joy, and we would love to see him dance with the very fun and entertaining Sharna Burgess (although they probably will never do that with Lacey still in the mix). Heck, we will volunteer to dance with Carson. Shakes actually cried when he left the competition in Season 13 because he was just so darned likable. True story.
12. Val and Kelly – This team is bringing the “It was a long, long time ago” factor as well as the “we don’t get it” factor, and thus, we see this as a very early exit. In spite of two seasons on DWTS and lots of chest exposure, Val is still unproven as a pro; he had limited time with Elisabetta and that went nowhere fast, and he had an extremely popular celebrity in Sherri, yet they were sent packing very early last season. There is no way that Kelly is as popular as Sherri, and we’re still waiting for the WOW choreography and performance from Val and his partner. Then there is this little problem: Season 1 of DWTS was a long time ago and a very different show than it is now. The cast from Season 1 can’t hold a candle to any of the last few seasons. What was the best dancing back then will not cut it this season, so we hope that Kelly has been practicing her Cha Cha because as far as we can see these two are going to be hitting the road early. The thing is that we love them both, but we do not love them together. Kelly may have won Season 1 but she is probably also the least known of any of the celebrities in Season 15. She would have been better suited for Mark Ballas. They would have been fun to watch.
11. Mark and Bristol – They bring the “Uh Oh, This Shouldn’t Have Happened” factor because let’s face it, this one just isn’t right. Mark won a mirror ball trophy with Shawn, and Shawn ended up with Derek? That wouldn’t be a problem if Bristol had won a MBT, but her scores were abysmal every single week. We do feel that personality wise Mark is the best fit for Bristol, but they are going to really have to step it up in order to make a dent in the competition. After looking at her scores from Season 11, it’s pretty clear that she is by far the weakest in this competition, and there’s no way that she is finale bound. We would probably have put her first to go and our reasoning has nothing to do with politics or controversy. She tried to improve when she was on the show, and Mark did a great job of teaching, but Mark has earned his place on DWTS and he deserved someone with a legitimate shot at winning, and Bristol just isn’t that. Go back and look at her scores from Season 11. She should not be back for All-Stars, but even more importantly she shouldn’t have been with Mark. Val perhaps would have been better or a new pro from the troupe. And just to make clear – Mark was never one of our favorite pros, but he earned rock star status last season not only because of his great partnership with Katherine (who was, in our opinion, the best dancer by far in that competition), but because he chose Tristan for the Trio Dance and gave us all something truly remarkable to enjoy and remember.
10. Tony and Melissa – They bring the “Should’ve Had Different Partners” mix into the equation. The first time around in Season 8 they were a surprise last minute entry, and she won a lot of votes because of the idiot on the Bachelor who treated her like crap. She was also lots of fun. Tony didn’t do his best choreography, however, and we don’t think she ever fully reached her potential. In the years since Season 8, we often wondered what she would have been like with another partner. That was a long time ago, however, and while Melissa is arguably the best dancer of the females, Tony can only use the ballet so much this time as an integral tool of his choreography. Let’s face it, there isn’t any chemistry to speak of here which means that in spite of the technical proficiency (which will probably be better than anybody in the competition), the artistry and heat won’t be there. As much as we like and respect Tony, he just doesn't connect with his partners the way that other pros do. He's a gentleman, and she's a sweetheart, but this mix isn't going to make for exciting TV. The viewers want to see something unique and exciting and sexy these two don't have that kind of dynamic. Technically, they are very, very good but artistically? Meh. This is not going to end well. Oh yeah – Tony sometimes makes odd costume choices. We’re just throwing that out there for future reference.
9. Peta and Gilles – These two unfortunately are going to bring the disappointment this season. Was anyone else here super stoked that Gilles was coming back this season just to be slapped in the face with the Peta pairing? We know how you feel. Gilles and Peta are supposed to bring the smoldering sensuality but we’re not sure it’s going to happen. They will bring the heat but not of the believable variety. Peta’s a great dancer and a gorgeous woman, but we haven’t seen extraordinary choreography yet, and Gilles isn’t Donald Driver, meaning there’s no way he can do the lifts that got her the MBT last season. In Season 14, the judges seemed to ignore a lot because they were awed by his strength. We loved Gilles and Cheryl, and we would have really loved Gilles and Karina or Gilles and Anna this season. We would have loved Peta and Joey too so he could have brought out her fun side - something we just haven’t seen from her. She takes everything way too seriously – all that frowning when the judges give a little criticism became tedious. Anyway, we just aren’t seeing how this is going to work. There’s a difference between acting sexy and being sexy. For lessons taught by the masters of sexy, go to #1 on this list.
8. Maks and Kirstie – They bring the “Should Have Stopped and Thought This Through” factor. They were great fun together in Season 11, but the novelty has worn off. We adored every second of their fun-loving rehearsals, their good-natured bickering, and their great partnership, but there’s a big ‘but’ to follow. The jokes won’t work the second time, the bickering was amusing once but won’t be now, and we’re afraid Maks and Kirstie will be making a very early exit – not in the first couple of weeks but probably in the first 60% of episodes. Kirstie is talented, hardworking, and feisty, but stacked up against a lot of these past winners we just don't think that people are going to vote for this Season 11 rerun again. There are too many other far more entertaining couples in Season 15, and the huge voting fan base will no doubt be splintered apart when there are so many appealing choices. This is probably too high of a placement in reality, but this season is so puzzling that anything could happen.
7. Derek and Shawn – This team will bring the unexpected, but maybe not the good kind, and we’ve been tempted to call it Team Maybe. Or Team Maybe Not. This is a bit of a conundrum, and we’re not sure what to expect. We didn’t like the pair when it was announced because it was predictable, and we hate the predictable immensely. The women in the field are relatively weak to start with, but of course, Shawn was going to go to Derek because he may be calling it quits after this year and ABC obviously wants to send him off in a huge way. We don’t think, however, that this is going to have the intended results unless the judging is so skewered that inflating scoring becomes the norm. Even the early pictures of them this week just standing together seem awkward. Derek may be in his twenties but compared to Shawn, he looks like a dirty old man. Shawn is also coming off of a injury that made her pull out of the Olympics this year, and as we all know, anyone who becomes Derek's partner ends up getting the “Most Injuries In One Season Award.” See where we are going with this? Shawn has grown up since she won DWTS but she’s still a little girl in comparison to the rest. She and Mark made it work; She and Derek will probably have it out by week 3. Somebody’s going to end up crying...or breaking a rib. You know what would have been fun? Shawn Johnson and Henry Byalikov or Shawn and Sasha Farber. Either of those pairings would have been great to see!
6. Cheryl and Emmitt – They will bring the fun – and probably more fun than anybody else. Our jaws dropped when these two were announced as being partners for Season 15. No Gilles for Cheryl? No Drew? But now it makes sense. Gilles and Cheryl are too obvious, and the Drew and Anna matchup makes us go all gooey with possibilities. Cheryl and Emmitt are going to have a great time, and we think we can say goodbye to the tough, sometimes meanie pants Cheryl of the last few seasons. We don’t think Emmitt will be the best technically but he has a wonderful personality and has a great presence on the dance floor. They could easily finish a little or a lot higher in this competition because Emmitt is going to make Cheryl a very fun pro all over again.
5. Chelsie and Helio – They will bring the feel good factor, and this pairing took us 100% by surprise. We do think it’s going to be one of the more serious matchups this season, but both have an incredible energy. We have a feeling that Helio will have a similar chemistry with Chelsie that Ty did. They will bring lots of fun, lots of energy and lots of discipline. Chelsie is a strict taskmaster for someone so young, but Helio is a bit older, an athlete, and used to tough love. Yep, these two have all the makings to be an easy Fan Favorite, and we say, "Bring it on." We think the world is going to fall a little bit in love with Chelsie and Helio.
4. Kym and Joey - There won’t be a Bye Bye Bye for Kym and Joey for many, many weeks. Joey and Kym aren’t going to bring the sexy, and the heat will be slightly above the lukewarm level, but they will get an A++ for bringing the fun. Think of these two as the DWTS version of Frankie Avalon and Annette Funicello. They won’t take themselves too seriously, but they already know how to win. And we'll be tuning in week after week with a huge grin on faces, and every time they dance, we will be visualizing Kym and Joey as Annette and Frankie frolicking on the beach in a new version of "Beach Blanket Bingo." We cannot wait to see Kym and Joey, Part 2, and in fact, this is the only rerun that we are 100% excited about – not Maks and Kirstie, not Melissa and Tony, not Mark and Bristol, and not Emmitt and Cheryl. This one is such a good one that it's destiny that they finish high in the competition.
3. Karina and Apolo – They are going to bring the mystery and then they are going to bring the WOW factor. At first, we weren’t sure about anything about this pair, but then we started thinking about Karina’s amazing work with J.R. and with Gavin (forget the boat prop fiasco). Apolo and Julianne were good, but it’s been a few years, and we doubt if Apolo has been taking too many spins around the dance floor since then. This time he’s with a woman, not a 19 year old pro or however old she was. Originally, we were scratching our heads and saying, "Whaaaattttt?" But we've had a change of heart, and we're sure that once the season progresses these two will eventually bring the “Ahhhh, yes”. Apolo is a very good dancer, and Karina...well....she is a nuclear meltdown waiting to happen. We don't quite know yet whether she and Apolo will have the same chemistry that he did with Julianne but we are betting yes because that chemistry wasn’t a sexy chemistry like, oh say, Tristan and Pamela will have. Instead it is a fun, flirty style that will work for almost all dances, but probably not for a Tango, Rumba, or Lambada (yeah, we’re hoping for that this season for obvious reasons). Karina is a brilliant choreographer, and Apolo's got the moves so only time will tell. We’re betting top 3.
2. Anna and Drew – They are going to bring the firecracker and the POP angle, and this is the one match that was consistently predicted most by our site members in the Match the Pros and Celebrities Contest. This one just works, and we bet they end up right near the top when the season ends. Why? This is a brilliant, perfect match. She’s serious, he’s serious, but both have great senses of humor. They are pretty people, lovely individuals, and he will be willing to take on Anna’s choreography – something she hasn’t had since she was partnered with the deliciously talented Evan Lysacek. We just can't stop "ooohing and aaaahing" about Anna and Drew. We can't find a single downside to this couple. Everything works.
1. Tristan and Pamela – What do they bring? Duh. They bring the sexy, and nobody is going to touch it. Just look at the other 11 (12) couples, and even though Mr. Marini is the poster boy for sexy, he and Peta cannot possibly win this one. If there were Olympic medals for sexy, Tristan and Pamela would win gold, silver and bronze. In fact, these two get our award for the sexiest couple of the season and the season hasn't even started yet. Why? We'll just look at them. They are both gorgeous individuals who know how to exude sensuality - and it's real, not fake. If Tristan knew how to bring out his inner sexy with Kym, Peta, Karina, and Chelsea, then we can bet you money that Tristan and Pamela's chemistry this season is going to be grounds for a serious sexy movie rating. And let's just say that SWAT won’t be letting her kids watch Prince Tristan Rumba with Princess Pamela. Shakes will be spending the rest of her days packed in ice. Need we say more? Well, other than that surprise Mirror Ball Trophy for Team Hot, Hotter, and Hottest....
[Another reason that we predict Tristan and Pamela to win is because this is Tristan’s website and it would be very tacky of us to even suggest anyone else might have a shot at it. And neon tutus and crazy experiences in Vegas aside, we are NOT tacky. Much.]
So what do you think of our bold and crazy predictions? As long as you agree that Pamela and Tristan WILL win, the rest of the predictions don't really matter, right?