We have two leading men created from two very different performances of the same dance. When we analyzed the character from the Foxtrot – the man in the brown vest, white shirt, brown pants, and saddle oxfords, we couldn’t figure him out. He was like the young man who had just received his drivers’ license and went to pick up his date to go to a school dance. With the hair as it was (hint: ABC, don’t do that again), all we could come up was he had to be called Archie (from SWAT) or Dilbert (from Shakes). He was a little bit of a nerd who was just a tiny bit unsure of himself. He got his hair cut right before the date, and we all know that’s a big no-no. It never ends well. This one, however, ended just fine.
Our little nerd was adorable and sexy in an offbeat kind of way, and he had his girl blushing and giggling. Adorable, but being the lusty wenches that we are, we’re usually inspired by the moves that leave us hot and bothered, so dare we say it….our nerd kind of left us hanging, you know?
But whoa baby. Something truly magical happened in less than 36 hours, and we ended up with an eye-popping and mind-boggling foxtrot that was not only sexy, but also sensuous, romantic, and unexpected. Dilbert learned from the master of pure (and natural) raw sex appeal - Alex O’Loughlin (or maybe Alex's character, the current Steve McGarrett from Hawaii Five-0); Archie learned how to swagger from Simon Baker. From our own unique perspectives, let’s talk about how it all happened.
[SWAT] Remember in the timeless Archie comics how Archie was always torn between the fun and sweet Betty, and the sultry, yet high maintenance Veronica? We just couldn’t quite understand why Archie could never make up his mind. Both girls were beautiful, and both were crazy about him. You kind of got the impression that he really wanted to be with Betty, but like any other man he was completely seduced by the vixen, Veronica, even if she was a royal pain in the ass. Well after I saw Tristan and The Empress' cheeky little foxtrot, I had to think about who his character was (for blog purposes), and the only one thing that came to my mind was Archie. Archie is a sweetie-pie, and he's always well groomed in that special way that says “I'm totally handsome, in an slightly awkward sort of way.“ Tristan's new hair with the super short sides and long top reminds me of Archie. It's kind of like what a 16 year old from 1957 would have....if he had just survived a hurricane. I'm also thinking that Gladys is definitely the Betty type. Very vibrant, and beautiful, with that sweet never ending smile. So basically the DWTS foxtrot is Archie and Betty's first date.
The entire dance is the very embodiment of puppy love, as I see it. The concept of Tristan and Gladys being Archie and Betty gave me a delicately sweet kind of visual, and I giggled out loud when he came up behind her and tickled her sides as they played that cutesy form of cat and mouse on the dance floor. It was pure cheese but it still was pure in the sense that there were no suggestive themes mucking it up. It was light, it was innocent, it was flirty, and I totally fell for Tristan's Archie character. And yes, I would totally go on a date with him if he asked me. At least you know the first date would be harmless fun, and you'd end the evening feeling like you were dancing on a cloud!
Next, we set our peepers on Tristan and Gladys in The Talk's foxtrot. Talk about upping the hotness factor within hours of dancing the first one. This foxtrot, I've decided, is Archie's first date with Veronica. The lights dimmed, the sexy flirtatiousness between them as they hold each other close and glide to the smooth, romantic sound of Sam Cooke crooning in the background. Oh yeah, and did I mention that Archie has obviously taken some serious swagger lessons from the likes of Simon Baker? Yes you heard me right. Simon ironically has somewhat of a nerdy name but makes up for it in the silent, and smoldering sex god department. He's taught Archie all he knows about exuding strength and confidence while sweeping the insatiable Veronica off of her feet. I'm sure this is how Tristan planned for it to come across when he choreographed this deliciously wonderful routine. I'm certain that Tristan woke up the morning of his first foxtrot rehearsal having this exact Archie/Simon revelation. He and I are of one mind. Okay, so maybe I'm digging a little deeper into Tristan's foxtrot character than he would, but I still love the result. I love this concept because Tristan himself has that same sexy, confident, nice guy persona with the ability to up the heat whenever necessary. For this very reason I believe that Tristan's duel personas for this seasons foxtrot should come together to make one perfect slice of sexy man-cake. Say hello ladies to Archie Baker- The Girl Whisperer.
[Shakes] SWAT saw Archie last Monday in the DWTS foxtrot. I saw Dilbert. I’m not sure who Dilbert is exactly, but that’s the name that came to mind for this dorky dude with the weird haircut who was the most adorable male I have ever seen. He is currently in a three way tie with Bentley Bumtapper (Season 13 suspender dude) and Rascal MacPip (Season 14 vest dude from the Cha Cha) for cuteness. In my weird mind, I perceived Dilbert to be kind of hot in a shy, but surprisingly sexy kind of way. Dilbert from the foxtrot didn’t disappoint. He had a lot of intensity simmering just beneath the surface, but it never really came out, and that’s exactly how he planned it.
He was a devil of a flirt, a gentleman in the truest sense of the word, a chivalrous bloke who made us forget bad hair and focus on his other assets. (Not another word. I’m on dangerous ground as it is even mentioning assets). This handsome charmer was charming without knowing he was charming; clearly his mama taught him well. I have to admit that I fell just a little bit in love with Dilbert, but then I realized that was a mere infatuation compared to the bomb that slammed into me when my eyes took in the absolutely dominating presence of the hunk on The Talk (bad hair was slightly improved).
I think he was waiting for the lady to wear the sleek black dress that showed us how well she had mastered the technique and how well she had managed to adapt to the changes in her man. Dilbert was now the dancing equivalent of the absolutely sizzling Steve McGarrett from Hawaii Five-0 (the current version – not the one from 1968-1980). As developed and characterized by the one and only actor and sex-on-a-stick, Alex O’Loughlin, Steve is confident, powerful (a Navy SEAL, remember), a kick-ass alpha male who knows how to get what he wants. Somehow Dilbert became, Alexander McGarrett. He was raw, sensual power and smoldering sensuality. Is anybody going to argue the point?
I didn’t think so. From the moment he eased those powerful arms around her, their bodies close but not too close, the strength in every movement was apparent. Strength and power are sexy. Fluidity of moments are hot. In perfect synchronization, they mesmerized us with their sensual dance, and she might have been smitten, but she challenged him as well. I have only seen one sexy foxtrot in all the years of DWTS – Gilles and Cheryl did one to Fever by Peggy Lee. This one was better because it wasn’t as obvious. It was flirty but it was more than that. It was sensuous without being embarrassing or obvious. It was sexy in an understated way that is so much sexier than those assorted pros on DWTS who walk around flaunting their bare selves at ever possible moment. The rock t-shirt paired with the black blazer and pants was perfect. It showed just enough arrogance to reveal that he he had confidence, and the look was so unique that it couldn’t have worked on anybody else. So Tristan MacManus and my mixed up character of Alex O’Loughlin/Steve McGarrett is enough fire to keep things interesting for a very long time. Dilbert was hot. Alexander McGarrett was just a flat out off the charts eruption of volcanic proportions. Is there any wonder why the lady was positively smitten? Holy moley. The man can bring it.