We’re going to start it off with asking you each a few things about Season 16. There were so many great performances. What was your favorite dance by any of the Season 16 teams and why?
Sasha: My favorite was Derek and Kellie’s Freestyle. It was just amazing to watch and the emotion and feeling they had in each movement was very challenging. Great job for both of them.
Emma: I adored Kellie Pickler’s freestyle with Derek Hough! That may have led her to win the mirror ball; it was so touching. Earlier on in the season I also loved Zendaya’s Argentine Tango with Val, the sultry Sherlock Holmes style one with the diamonds. They performed that dance along with Val’s brother Maks and my beautiful friend Anna Trebunskaya who is the perfect dancer. Jacoby did a wicked Jive too with Karina, where he first jumped over her head (there were quite a few in the end!) I loved that one too. Too many dances to even mention, it was a good season for inventive dances.
What (or who) do you think was the biggest surprise of Season 16 overall?
Sasha: I think the biggest surprise was Andy Dick. He really gave it his all, and he was a great character for the show.
Emma: Andy Dick really did start off the season kind of self-conscious and nervous of performing every week a new, difficult dance style, but like a light switch he did a total 180 and couldn’t get enough of performing! He would be bouncing around backstage with this massive huge smile on his face, chatting to everyone, practicing , taking photos. Everyone backstage was like, “boy, he’s really loving it here!” I think DWTS got it totally right having Andy Dick on the show; he couldn’t have been more entertaining. But he took a few weeks for it all to sink in for him. He should be proud. J I love Andy!
Both of you were involved in so many dances this season, and it was wonderful seeing you so frequently. Which was your favorite?
Sasha: My favorite was the Monday opening number on the final episode - the one Emma and I choreographed. It was so much fun. It was only three couples, and we were on the dance floor for two minutes with no artist - just us dancing was great.
Emma: Well the opening of the Finale was pretty special for us as we got to choreograph it, so it wasbrilliant to see it all come together in the camera blocking, and actually see it on the screen. Sasha and Jonathon Platero got to fly up out of these toasters so naturally they loved it! I think it was a competition as to who could go higher! I loved performing in all the ‘Len’s Side-By-Side Challenge’ dances. I got to dance for three couples who remained in the competition as part of their number. I danced with Tony Dovolani for Kym and Ingo’s Cha Cha, Sasha for Andy & Sharna’s Paso and I danced a Viennese Waltz in Victor and Lindsay’s number with our very own Tristan MacManus ;) I gotta say, I’ve danced the Viennese Waltz with Tristan a few times now, and it’s a favourite of mine. I was really happy with all three of those dances, it was a good week for me.
We were happy to see that you choreographed quite a bit this season. Which numbers did you choreograph either individually or together?
Sasha: We did do a lot. We did all the bumpers that we danced in. Separately I did the Stevie Wonder opening and together we did prom week to Huey Lewis and the News, and the opening for “Ready To Go”. Emma choreographed to Olly Murs and Icona Pop, so together we did a lot of numbers this season.
Emma: I was happy too!! The first week we danced, I was asked to choreograph for Icona Pop, that ultra funky new Swedish pop group that took over with their song “I Don’t Care.” We did an all girls neon slightly futuristic look. I had such good memories of it and the performance actually made quite a few headlines the next day for being their breakthrough performance in the U.S., and I was told that after that they went on to be in the iTunes top ten downloaded song in the U.S.! I was very pleased for them. Huey Lewis and the News was Week 3, and Sasha and I choreographed together for this one. We had a few more outside dancers to build the number up and it was prom theme so we based it on a very American High School dance feel. Love being a part of all the costume designs too. Olly Murs was my next one - we opened the Tuesday results show with his performance of “Troublemaker.” He’s an ace guy - I loved him to bits! I was very pleased with that one, and his team was so complimentary to me. It’s wonderful to hear that an artist likes your work! Then Sash and I had the Finale opening number. We used dancers from the show who were also a part of the upcoming DWTS At Sea official cruise (that Sash and I are also a part of!) It was so much fun, I loved the music we got, and I was so pleased with the finished product.
Tell us about the commercial bumpers. Those were great fun for the viewers, and we imagine you had a great time doing them! What kind of preparation is involved, and are the bumpers as much fun as they look?
Sasha: A lot is involved and Emma and I choreographed all the ones we were in. It’s a lot of fun and great exposure for us.
Emma: Yes bumpers are much fun! We can really be cheeky! We had about 3 each every week and it’s sometimes hard getting together with the other dancers to block it all! There’s so many! It’s so much fun though and they really add something to the show. It does mean we have to choreograph every week and arrange a time when we can all rehearse together. We get very little time before the show to camera block them as there is not an awful lot of time but because of the nature of them, its best to just run with it and react off the camera whenever you see it!
Your involvement in Len’s side-by-side challenges was delightful to see, and we heard many positive comments from our site members. Please share with us that experience, the rehearsals, and how the dances came together. You were both amazing!
Sasha: Thank you very much. We had so much fun, I was in two of them - with D.L. and Cheryl and Andy and Sharna. That’s also a great idea for the show and gives us a great input into the dance.
I had a lot of comments about it, and all positive. J I love working as a team and that’s what it is all about.
Emma: Thank you very much. I’m glad it came across positive. I was especially very happy with being involved so much that week as I’ve never really had a spotlight like that on the show. I kind of wanted just to say hi and let people know there was a British girl called Emma on the show (you can easily get lost on the show if you have blonde hair! Haha). Tony and I were the first people to rehearse our bits and it went by in about 10 minutes - it just happened naturally together. We loved it. Tony’s a great guy. Tristan and I also choreographed the Viennese Waltz with ease too if I remember correctly - the music was a favorite of his, and it seemed to piece together very naturally. The Viennese Waltz can be a very emotional dance if you want it to be. And then Sasha and I were in the studio for hours and hours trying to perfect our little Paso Doble piece!! Haha! It took forever for us to be happy with it. But that tends to be the way with Sash and I. We were both very happy with it in the end.
We didn’t get to see you in the Trio Dances this season, but we are curious about something. If you could have danced in a Trio Dance with any of the couples this season, which one would you choose and what style dance would you like to see performed?
Sasha: I would have to say Derek and Kellie’s Trio. I thought Tristan did a great job with them and the number looked amazing. But to me that was my favorite TRIO.
***Now to make it interesting – assuming Dorothy and Tristan had been able to continue in the competition until Trio Dance Week, and you were the pro they selected, which dance would you have liked to dance with them?
Sasha: I would have loved to dance a Foxtrot with them. I think Dorothy is such an elegant lady and that is what Foxtrot is all about - gliding along that floor with style .
Emma: I would say Tango actually. Tristan can be a man ‘belonging’ to Dorothy. I would be watching them dance. Then I would be the bad one and try to seduce him but Dorothy would have none of it, and it would turn into a three person tango! Dorothy would obviously end up with Tristan!
***Same with the Side By Side Challenge – If Dorothy and Tristan were still in the competition and you, Sasha and Emma, were dancing alongside them, which style dance would you have liked to do?
Sasha: Would have to say the Rumba.
Emma: If it were Sasha and I dancing with Tristan and Dorothy, I think then maybe a Jive. It could be really playful, that’s very Dorothy. And Tristan and Sasha together are just hilarious - they are non-stop with the jokes, so I just see something fun if we would have done the Side-By-Side Challenge with them.
Sasha, seeing you step onto the dance floor with Kristi Yamaguchi brought tears to our eyes. What was that like?
Sasha: That was an amazing feeling. Kristie is so much fun, and such a great dancer, and being a part of that was great. And I know how important it was to Dorothy to dance alongside her. I just wished Tristan could have danced that. I know how much it meant to him.
We are looking forward to your appearances in Pensacola and then on the DWTS Cruises for Holland America Line. What is the preparation like for these appearances? Emma, you were on one of the DWTS cruises a few months ago. Is there a substantial amount of rehearsal time involved?
Sasha: A lot of time and practice goes into all the shows as you want to look and dance your best.
Emma: Actually the cruise is a condensed version of our Las Vegas DWTS show. All the group numbers and special solos are still in the cruise - it just has less talking so all the dancing is packed together and after an hour you’re pretty out of breath! So all the dancers on the cruise have already been involved in the Las Vegas show so we knew all the dances already. We did however need 3 days of rehearsal prior to the cruise last January just because it had been 6/7 months since Vegas and we had to run the new ship schedule so that we could make sure we made all the dress changes in time and it ran smoothly! On the ship though we had lots of free time, it was magnificent!
DWTS has announced the elimination of the Tuesday Results Show for Season 17. In what way do you think that will help (or hurt) the show?
Sasha: I think it will be really good for the show; it’s the best all in one.
Emma: I feel it was a good decision made for the benefit of the audience who now no longer has to spread their DWTS hours over two days and three hours. So I think condensing it into one night, two hours will pick up the energy and be more engaging for the viewers. It will really pack a punch and people won’t have to wait a day to get the results. It also gives the dancers one more day of rehearsals with the celebs. Although there will be ultimately less hours a week of the show, the idea is to mix the Tuesday show in with the Monday show, so there will still be massive explosive numbers on the Monday show and artists performances, amazing dance pieces and other interesting packages as well as the celebrity competition. So our job as dancers doesn’t really become too impacted. So all in all I think it will probably boost the ratings as all the DWTS viewers will be tuning in to a very action packed two hour Monday show.
If you could make one change on DWTS, what would it be? (It could be anything – celebrities, format, dance styles, etc.)
Sasha: I would change nothing. It is a great show, and I think keep doing what you have been doing.
One change would be to make me and Emma pros. lol
Emma: That’s such an interesting question. I think one change for me might be to include a guest judge every week on the show. This could be former celebrity, dance critic, dance icon, choreographer or even just a big personality who is a dance fanatic! Maybe also I would look into changing the venue for the finale to an arena type location where we could make the set huge and wildly decorated. I would also do a DWTS tour after the show is done, I don’t know why they don’t do that anymore!
This season we saw some special dances in Week 9 – Afro-Jazz, Flamenco, Charleston, Lindy Hop, and Hip Hop (with Disco as the dance Sean and Peta would have done had they not been eliminated). If you could choose to do any one of these with a celebrity partner on DWTS, which would it be?
Sasha: I would choose Lindy Hop. I love it and have had a lot of experience with it.
Emma: I think Charleston. It’s so stylized. I like that era, and it’s very very cheeky, The duet Charlestons are great and really make an impact just because there’s heaps of fun chemistry between the two dancers. I think Kym and Ingo did a brilliant job with their Charleston. Great ending too with the big champagne bottle.
We are all looking forward to your website launch which will be coming soon. Do you have any particular goals or expectations for it?
Sasha: Not really. I can’t wait for everyone to see it!
Emma: Actually Sasha showed me the preview of it today and I’m pretty gob smacked! It’s so detailed and absolutely perfect! Just beautiful. I got very excited looking at it. I’m pretty happy to have a place I can blog to and tell people to look at - I’m so grateful and proud of it already! To everyone who was involved in making it for us, thank you so much. It means so much to us. We are excited to be some of the only dancers in the show with a stunning professional website made by the wonderful people who support us. So thank you.
Finally, in our most recent interview with Tristan, we asked him who is the biggest prankster on DWTS. His answer? “Farbs.” Is it true? :)
Sasha: Tristan and I have a lot of fun and we have known each other for more than 12 years. He is also a prankster.
Emma: YES. Can’t really add to that. You can’t stop being the person you’ve been all your life, and Sasha Farber is a prankster! This house is mad when the two of them are together.
Thanks, Emma and Sasha. As always, this was a real treat for us.
Thank you lovelies. Have a wonderful summer. It’s nice to have a break after the show and just relax. t=This season has been a lot more pressure and man hours than the other seasons we have done but we think it was fully worth it and now we going to relax for a week before we start work again. We have a show in Pensacola, Florida on June 15th at the Saenger Theatre at 7 pm. Also performing at this show are Tristan, Karina Smirnoff, Val Chmerkovskiy & Tony Dovolani. Tickets can be bought at ticketmaster.com.
Also we will both be on the Holland-America Cruises Dancing with the Stars: At Sea along with Tristan, Kym Johnson, Mark Ballas and Chelsie Hightower. You can see all the details on the Holland-America website. :) [http://www.hollandamerica.com/pageByName/Simple.action?requestPage=DWTS]
Thanks for your questions, come visit us on www.sasha-emma.com soon!!! [site will be launched in a few days]
Season 16 came and went, and it seemed like it took about three years to do just that. It was only ten weeks? No kidding. Anyway, we put together our awards for the season. You will notice that we have all new categories this time around so there are no repeat winners. Here we go.
The Choreographer of the Year Award – Tristan MacManus - Whodathunk it? Yeah, most people would say Derek should win it because of the Contemporary he choreographed for Kellie’s Freestyle. Yes, that was an amazing dance, but it wouldn’t have been near as amazing without the “Titanic” move which no other person could ever possibly do (see the “Whoa I Wish I Was That Flexible Award”) so we give this one to the Irishman for two reasons: 1) the Contemporary for Dorothy was simple and exquisite, and it told a story better than other story told this season 2) the finale dance incorporated elements of Samba, Foxtrot, Rumba, Contemporary and the Macarena (or something) into a Viennese Waltz with flawless transitions. Had Tristan been dancing it would have been a slam dunk for best dance ever.
The Whoa I Wish I Was That Flexible Award – to Kellie Pickler because no human is able to do that Titanic move that she did in the Contemporary Freestyle. Sure some people would say that Derek’s brilliant choreography won it; we contend that Kellie is just a damn good dancer with a very lithe and flexible body. Guess what people? You just can’t teach that stuff.
The Clairol Award – to all the dark roots showing in all the blonde females on DWTS.
The We Gotta Go With Tristan On This One Award – Spray tans are so overused, overrated, and over-oranged that we vote that they should be outlawed. We will take the pale, porcelain china look (or the pasty white look if you’re not feeling poetic) over that shiny orange slop that seems to cover all of ‘em (with one notable exception).
The It’s Ballroom Dance So Put Those Heels On Award – to Zendaya who for the last few weeks seemed to decide that it was perfectly fine to wear flat shoes. Uh, nope. It’s not okay. Play by the rules, Sweetie.
The You Should Take Over For Brooke Burke Award – to Andy Dick who kind of became our sweetheart this season. He’s funny, thinks on his feet, and would never ask stupid questions that make you break the remote control every week because of excessive use of the mute button.
The We Never Saw That One Coming Award – to Andy Dick who is a stud. Really. He made us want to go on a date with him because he was in this for the right reasons, took it seriously, and was funnier than any human has a right to be.
The What Was He Thinking Award – to Tony Dovolani and his bad costuming decisions for a beautiful woman. His bad prop decisions for a lady who is a country music legend didn’t help either. It didn’t work.
The Doggy Is Not an Accessory and Sasha Farber is Too Talented to Be Dog-Sitting Award – to Lisa Vanderpump and Gleb Savchenko, What were they thinking?
The Coolest Foxtrot in a Long Time Award – to Lisa Vanderpump who danced a cheeky little dance with Len in the finale. That was fun.
The No Way Was That One Of the Top 5 Freestyles in DWTS History Award – to DWTS Wetpaint for putting Val/Zendaya in the three spot all time. Really? For that? It was a little sloppy, a little immature, and a lot forgettable. It was fine. It wasn't perfect. And we had to go back and watch it to come up with this.
The Honorary Kelly Clarkson Catch My Breath Award - Okay so this has nothing to do with Kelly Clarkson. We just feel ourselves starting to sing "Catch My Breath" when we see Tristan doing that damned Paso Trio.
The Are You Doing Endorsements For Nike Award- To Zendaya because she wore sneakers throughout half of the season's dances. There is no other possible explanation.
The Neon Flamingo Award - Goes to those wild and crazy guys,Tristan and Shawn, for their interesting choice in workout apparel. We just thought that neon pink t-shirts were for eight year old eighties girls but apparently times have changed and now the men of DWTS are working it. Or at least Tristan was working it.
The Straightjacket Award - Nope, this has nothing to do with Tristan and Season 13's Team Dance. This award goes to our very own snarky judge, Len Goodman. After his scathing comments about that marvelous, dramatic, and amazing Trio Paso we are certain that this was just the first step to Len landing himself in the loony bin. He will occasionally be joined by the other two. We don’t need to name them.
The Warm Fuzzy Award - Every season we have that one moment where you just smile and get that warm fuzzy feeling. This award goes to Kristi Yamaguchi for surprising us by dancing along her skating idol, Dorothy Hamill during the finale. What a lovely surprise for the lights to come up and see her standing there with that killer smile. It definitely made us all forget for a moment all of the crazy crap that happened this season.
The Okay, We Admit It...Sometimes You're Awesome Award - To Derek, who normally makes us cringe and scratch our heads when we watch his over the top choreography. This season we were actually impressed with his restraint, and during Trio week we were downright proud of how he showcased not only Kellie, but Tristan as well. His freestyle concept was perfect to show everybody why Kellie deserved to be the champion, and for the first time in like ever, the best dancer won the competition.
The Duct Tape Fashion Collection Award - Goes to Val....and also Maks. After reading their tweets in previous seasons as well as this one, we feel that it's necessary for them to put some duct tape over their mouths because they don't know how to be tactful, use a bit of restraint or when to shut up. It continued all this week before, during, and after the finale so we’ve ordered a variety of duct tape in various sizes and fashionable colors to coordinate with every wardrobe choice.
The Bad Bad Bad Bad Boys, You Make Me Feel So Good Award goes to the true bad boy of Season 16. Gloria Estefan said it best. Bad boys really do make us feel so good sometimes. Mr. Irish Dark Contacts gave us all a little high pitched "Woo Hoo" moment when he stalked onto the dance floor during the Trio Paso.
The What Was Your Name Again Award? – to Gleb Savchenko. Now that is one pretty man (really pretty if you want to get technical about it), but it took us half the season to remember his name….and we still can’t remember any of his dances.
The Mall Cops Award - To, sigh, Tony....whhhhhyyyyy? We know you were trying to give the lowly mall cop a new coolness by choreographing a Quickstep starring you and the amazing Wynonna Judd. We could hear mall cops all over the country grunting in embarrassment as soon as you two rolled onto the dance floor on your matching Segways, scooters, snowmobiles, whatever they were.
The Uncomfortable Irony Award - To Sean Lowe. So we all know that Sean got engaged on the Bachelor. But does anyone else think it's kinda weird and slightly ironic that he and Peta danced an oddball Tango to Katy Perry's "Hot and Cold"? In the end Sean left Peta at the altar...yeah...let's hope that in real life he doesn't do the same thing.
The Get The Shovel Out Because Nobody Should Have To Put Up With That Crap Award – to D.L. Hughley who got it put to him week after week by the judges. They were spewing so much….well….crap that he needed a shovel to dig out of it.
The Dude, You Should Be a Pro Award – to Sasha Farba who, turned on the charm, charisma, and smokin’ hot chemistry in the finale dance with Kristi (and Henry and Dorothy). They were all great, but Sasha? The sincerity, the delight, the form, and the Rumba hips….well, we’re sold. Make the man a Pro.
The We Can’t Tell Who is Who Award – Lindsay/Whitney/Oksana/Emma/Peta/Chelsie/another blonde who danced a couple of times. No explanation needed.
The Standout Troupe Person Who Has Great Legs Too – That would be Emma who this season showed us why she is now the one we want to see dance every week. And we're jealous that our legs don't look like that.
The Mass Confusion On the Dance Floor Award – to DWTS for causing mass confusion on the dance floor with the pro/troupe dances. We wanted to slow it down so we could see who we wanted to see and not see who we didn’t want to see. We didn't really tune in to the show to see a flash mob but that's what it seemed like.
The That’s Some Serious Déjà vu Award – to the Season Finale – What’s with the repeat crap? These people were bragging all week about how many dances they were in and most of the dances seemed like reruns – the season opener came back. The Girls of Season 16 came back but with 3 new additions….and they are supposed to be able to learn a dance in a short time.
The Tacky, Tacky, Tacky Award - To the producers for having Aly dance in the Girls of Season 16 dance in the finale right after she was eliminated. The girl looked miserable, and we can't blame her. That was just stupid.
The Bedhead Is Back Award – Who else?
Ratings are down. In fact, they stink. Is anybody surprised? There has been too much…..well, too much everything the last few seasons. We’ve done plenty of pondering on this subject, and we are fairly sure we know what will improve those ratings. Here are our very well-thought-out ideas as to how to make those ratings escalate and get the infusion of MacManiacs going through the roof. These are pretty much guaranteed solutions.
1. Guys, keep your clothes on. We really aren’t prudes, and a little skin can be sexy, but there’s something to be said for keeping the mystery alive. Week after week we see Derek without his shirt, Mark without his shirt, Val showing as much has he can this season without being icky but next season the shirt will be off, Gleb without his shirt, the troupe guys without the shirt, and so on. Predictable translates into boring, and there’s nothing more boring than seeing 97% of the guys baring their pectorals on a regular basis. Besides all that shiny waxed skin can hurt your eyes due to the blinding glare.
2. Peta needs to put her clothes on, and Kym needs to find another color to wear besides that champagne/gold blend. In other words, there should be a few rules and regulations – a dress code. Anything in danger of exposing “the girls” should be vetoed by, well, us. Peta is a wardrobe malfunction waiting to happen.
3. The streetwalker look is a no-no unless you are dancing that new dance called the Streetwalker Samba, and we are fairly sure that’s not one of those ballroom or Latin dances designed for DWTS competition.
4. Speaking of the dances – let’s stick to the basics. Let’s not give the Waltz to the Waltzing Champion of the world but let’s leave Waltz in the competition. Leave in the Charleston but don’t use it if one of the celebrities has danced the Charleston in 16 movies about the Charleston. See where this is going? (Think Hip Hop - Season 16). We kind of like these classics: Slow Waltz, Viennese Waltz, Foxtrot, Quickstep, Rumba, Jive, Cha Cha, Tango, Argentine Tango, Salsa, Samba – maybe even a Lindy Hop, Charleston, Bolero or Lambada for occasional variety BUT we don’t ever want to see Hip Hop, Disco, Afro-Jazz, Jazz, Contemporary, or whatever else they like to throw in. We loved Tristan and Dorothy’s Contemporary only because they didn’t go to the extreme, but we would have preferred a good old-fashioned Waltz.
5. Make it fair. Zendaya didn’t have to do the sexy Rumba this season, and there is a lot of speculation that it’s because it would be “awkward.” Um, remember Season 13. Tristan and Nancy were told that it was good that they didn’t try to make the Rumba sexy because it might be a little uncomfortable to watch, yet in Season 14 Tristan and Gladys got a metaphorical kick in the ass because the Rumba wasn’t sexy enough. How is that any less awkward? A 60-something with a 29 year old is perfectly acceptable, I suppose. Can you say double standard?
5. Ringers are gonna happen. We’ve given up trying to plead our case about a non-ringer season, however, we don’t like it when the ringer has substantial training in the dance style to which he/she is assigned. Val liked to emphasize that he had never danced Hip Hop – So? We hear all the time about how the pros can learn new dances in a matter of minutes. Mark might have gone over the top with the Afro Jazz, but we daresay that he had less experience in that genre than Val did in Hip Hop – and it helped that Val’s partner had been dancing Hip Hop since age 8.
6. Don't insult the viewers. We ain’t stupid. Let’s see – picking the dances for each team was about as simple as getting the mail from the mailbox. We had 6 choices. All 6 pros (and some celebrities) tweeted which style they wanted. Their fans – whether 6,000 or 3,000,000- tweeted that style. There were no evil plots to tweet for Val and Zendaya to get disco just to throw them off. So everybody got exactly what they wanted. Duh. So no-brainer twitter contests are insulting to our intelligence.
7. Speaking of Twitter contests – those idiotic twitter contests were idiotic. Did we mention idiotic? Doesn’t it make sense that the person with the most twitter followers and the most avid tweeters would win every one? Again. We ain’t stupid. We all knew exactly how this was going to turn out.
8. When the main attraction (the Irish dude) is gone early 2 seasons in a row through no fault of his own, you do something to keep him where the ladies (uh, the viewers) want him - right on the tv screen – bumpers, dances, more dances, and even hosting (at least he wouldn’t be asking embarrassing questions up in the celebrequarium or whatever stupid name they have given to that place now). What’s the point of making the gasping for breath celebrities go up 300 miles of steps right after dancing anyway? So they can gaze down upon the masses and wave like the King of Queen of Something? While we’re at it- they should lose that whole idea anyway. That whole balcony/loft/room with a view thing is just too sparkly and uncomfortable looking. Back to the topic: Tristan could, in addition to his teaching/dancing/choreographing/partnering duties, be a co-host who would ask fun questions and get fun responses instead of us our covering our eyes, muting the tv, and saying, “Oh no, she didn’t.”
9. Let us take over the casting but not the choreography, the dance selections but not the choreography, and the music but not the choreography. Just to make sure we’re clear, we should probably also handle the judging. But not the choreography.
10. Just to make sure things are done properly, fly us (SWAT and Shakes) to LA every week – and put us up in a 5-star hotel because we’re hotel snobs – and then put us in the front row no more than six feet from Tristan MacManus at all times. Why? Well, we can write good stuff about the show. Then we can post it here…..yeah, that sounds good….
Photo Courtesy of ABC
The Paso Trio. The Trio Paso. The non-Paso according to Grumpy Len. Clearly, he wasn't paying attention. Whatever you want to call it, it was kind of a masterpiece, and a big part of that masterpiece was due to the energy brought by Tristan to the number along with the chemistry he had with Kellie and Derek. It was believable, passionate, intense, dark, and sexy as hell, and yes, we admit to being a little obsessed by it. And in true MacManus style, it told a story. Granted, Derek created the story, but it's questionable if it would have been told so well without our favorite leading man bringing his presence to the stage.
So we decided we are both a little bit obsessed with this dance - to the extent that we decided that it made sense to tell you all about that. Therefore, we give you "Ten Reasons Why You Know You're Obsessed with the Paso Trio" - SWAT and Shakes style.
1. You can’t get these words out of your head – and you remember the exact time they were spoken about the Paso Doble: “It’s about being as big as possible…and about kicking as much...ass as possible.” The Trio Paso was definitely a déjà vu moment. When Tristan said those prophetic words to Nancy Grace, we had no idea how appropriate they would be in Season 16. Anybody want to argue about the kicking ass stuff that went on Week 8, Season 16?
2. Instead of humming “Don’t Worry, Be Happy” by Bobby McFerrin, you happily hum (and whistle) “Unstoppable” by E. S. Posthumus. There’s nothing like a pounding, driving rhythm to say, “Good morning everybody. Lovely day, isn’t it? Want syrup or strawberries on your waffles?”
3. You don’t even have to think about the theme, the story, the characters, or the plot. Ladies and Gentleman, this was a story of danger, passion, intensity, and maybe just a little (or a lot) of lust. Not that I would ever think about lust and naughty things like that in terms of a dance. Nope. Not me.
4. You stand in front of your mirror for an indecently long time just thinking that at any time now that sucker is going to splinter apart and Tristan MacManus is going to step through and whisk you off to the dark underworld where who knows what will happen. I’m sure a dark underworld has an upside…
5. You are considering wearing only black from now on.
6. The words “Welcome. Come on into me world” have taken on a whole new meaning.
7. You wouldn’t mind dancing with Derek as long as Tristan was involved. In fact, it might be kind of hot.
8. You wouldn't mind dancing with Kellie as long was Tristan was involved. What the heck. It’s time to be wild and crazy for once.
9. After seeing the darkness of the “other side” you have a whole new respect for “The Devil Went Down To Georgia.” Mephistopheles returned but with a new kind of hotness minus the excessive makeup but with the guyliner and the smoldering dark contact lenses that make the female hormones do interesting things. Talk about loving the bad boys.
10. You told your husband that from now on when you watch DWTS you expect for your entire family room to be filled with fog. Just for atmosphere. Besides, in this little fantasy world you never know who might appear out of the fog.
1.The word “stalk” no longer pertains to obsessed jilted ex-lovers or green vegetables. It now is synonymous with Tristan MacManus and all of that machismo.
2.“Unstoppable” by E.S. Posthumus has now become your anthem. Not only is it the first thing you hear in your head every morning, but it's also on your iPod as your workout music. Forget “Eye of the Tiger” and pretending you are training for a marathon. “Unstoppable” gives you that epic “I'm running into battle with my sword of truth” kind of feeling....very inspirational...or crazy...whichever.
3.You realize the naked truth about your possible addictive tendencies that may have never surfaced until now.“ Just one more time” does you no good when you spend your entire evening wearing down your computer fan while watching the Paso over and over and over.
4. We realize that for such a sweet, lovable guy, Tristan really is the best at playing a true “Bad Boy” to the fullest. Generally I'm all for using “The Force” for the good of mankind and all that...but um....if Tristan has anything to do with the dark side, well then I only have one thing to say. Sign. Me. Up.
5. You're secretly hoping that your makeup mirror falls off of the counter and smashes so Evil Tristan will pop out and exclaim “Welcome. Come on into me world”. And they say breaking a mirror was seven years bad luck. Come to think of it seven is also Tristan's lucky number.
6. Tristan and those damn little details really have a big impact on you. The way he uses his hands to create just that extra bit of artistic macabre. The strength of his posture yet the darkness of his demeanor as he approaches Derek as they come through the mirror. It's pure, dark perfection.
7. You strain your eyes way to hard trying to envision what Tristan is doing when he goes off to the side for Kellie and Derek's dance. He backs off of the set so smoothly and then reappears as if he never left his stance in the first place. Is he just standing there on the sidelines still in character and waiting to stalk his prey - or what? I want to know.
8. Tristan is the King of the Trio dance, the Paso Doble, and the Guyliner. He's also the King of Darkness in this dance, and he also just happens to also be the Lord High Executioner of Bedhead....uh....I just need some sleep.
9. You're waiting for Kellie to come to her senses during the dance and let the Irish Prince of Black Contact Lenses overcome her and leave Derek to wander around in the fog all by himself.
10. You still - even after watching the freakin' thing on You Tube at least 100 times - sit there will your mouth hanging open because you still have no words to describe how it makes you feel. A drool bucket helps in this case. Remember we have some sparkly green ones in stock for dire times like these.
The End. You're probably happy about that, too, but don't worry, we'll be back soon with more ridiculousness.
We've talked about the Trio Dances before. We started with Mark/Katherine/Tristan in that sexy, sizzling, and scintillating Cha Cha and followed it up with the Maks/Kirstie/Tristan dark angel-defying Paso. This season we have a Derek/Kellie/Tristan Trio which we think just might bring in the first perfect 30 of Season 16 and also receive the encore on Tuesday. Why, you ask? Well, the missing ingredient in Season 14 was the wardrobe malfunction which caused Len to knock off a point. Season 15? Kirstie had a good idea in theory, but it never really developed into a believable story. This season Derek and Kellie have the talent but they haven't had the chemistry. Whoa baby. It's there in spades now. Here is a closer look at the Trio Dances.
Derek/Kellie/Tristan – Tristan was the pro of choice. This will sizzle. This Paso Doble will no doubt be dark, exotic, and passionate. Now we are all for themes and storytelling, but we will say that Derek usually goes over the top, but we hope he doesn’t this time, and the story has to be better than the dark angel thing Maks and Kirstie went for last season. If Derek becomes too adventurous with his parallel universe whatever mess and omits key elements, then we’re going to have a big problem , and we will all be covering our eyes and yelling at the tv when the scores are announced. We’re thinking (or hoping) that Derek will take the high road and that the judges will hopefully buy what he’s selling. We're also hoping that Kellie is able to embrace the fierceness of a Paso; unfortunately Kellie and fierce are not two words that go hand in hand, but she is very talented. We’re going to go ahead and call it now – here is your first 30 of Season 16. Why? Derek and Kellie haven’t had the encore while Aly and Mark have had it twice already. Val and Zendaya have been pimped every week and have had the encore. Jacoby and Karina have had it. Sean and Peta have had it. Ingo and Kym haven’t had it and probably won’t unless they pull out all the stops. So back to Derek/Kellie/Tristan. All that machismo (Tristan) and all that wild choreography (Derek) combined with tons of showmanship? Here it is. Prediction? 30
Aly/Mark/Henry – Jive -This was kind of a no-brainer. Tony was unavailable this week but if he was around, we are betting TPTB would have made sure he was included in the Trio dances. Henry worked with Aly last week so she’s already used to his teaching and dancing style. That being said, we think Sasha might have been a better choice because of the cuteness factor. This dance is not going to be about bringing the sexy; it’s about bringing the feisty and the cute and that’s Sasha. Henry can manage a backflip but can you imagine Sasha and Aly going head to head? Oh wait. This is about dance. Henry is a great choice, but Sasha might have been an inspired choice. Prediction? 28
Jacoby/Karina/Cheryl – Paso Doble - We think the top teams picked first because Karina and Kym both wanted Cheryl on their trios and guess who won? Karina. She made a great decision. Jacoby is a strong presence and so is Cheryl. We think they will do very well, or at least be entertaining. We have to admit that his reaction last week to being in jeopardy was perplexing. Did he expect to make it through every week just because he is Jacoby Jones? Stuff happens, and we hate to break it to him but there are three other celebs who are better dancers (we'll let you choose which ones) than he is and their fan bases are equally massive. He might have been one of the bottom three, but he might not have been. Every one of these teams should have to experience that feeling. Unfortunately only a few have been in that position this season. Anyway, all that it took for us to put Jacoby/Karina/Cheryl in the three spot was the Official DWTS Instagram photo of Jacoby dipping both of the female pros to the floor at the same time to know that he’s got the goods for this one. It's going to be fierce. Prediction? 28
Val/Zendaya/Gleb – Salsa - Well, this is a conundrum. No way could they have picked a female pro because Zendaya would overshadow her with those nine mile long legs so they were kind of locked into a male pro. Not Tristan, thank goodness. He was most likely already taken. Which male pro? Tony? Not available this week. Gleb was really the only option, and height wise and with the affinity for baring his chest (like Val), it makes sense, BUT, this is Zendaya – a 16 year old just in case you forgot, and that would be icky on a lot of levels. So it will be interesting to see how they manage it without the sexy, and while salsa is fun it’s also sexy and we don’t know if either Val or Gleb can resist dancing a Salsa without tossing half of their wardrobe into the audience. They both have that waxed chest and slicked back hair thing going on which can be a bit much week after week, although kudos for Val for trying to tone it down this season. Technical prowess won’t be an issue, unless Zendaya finally gets called out for the way she uses her legs. Granted it’s not her fault that she has long legs but they have been wonky all season. Prediction? 27
Sean/Peta/Sharna – Jazz - Peta said she chose Sharna because Sharna is her best friend. That’s a good reason, we suppose. Loyalty and all that, and Sharna is, to borrow Tristan’s word, a cracker of a choreographer and will probably have more input than we will ever know. Personally we think that Peta should be thanking her lucky stars on this one. Sean has the weakest technique of everyone left, and look what Sharna did with Andy. Peta is drooling over the fact that they are finally allowed lifts because she says they are the only team that hasn’t been allowed to do a lift so far. The red flags are going up all over the place. Yes, it’s Jazz and all kinds of liberties will be taken because the judges don’t know how to judge Jazz. We visualize a dance of a bunch of lifts with Sean’s booty sticking out again and with crappy footwork and little dance content. Chances are it will be overscored too. Meh. Prediction? A very generous 24
Ingo/Kym/Lindsay – Jive - this is one of those WTF moments.. Lindsay is great but she’s inexperienced and young. Honestly, Witney would be better and Emma Slater would be the best choice. Emma just seems like a better fit style wise and everything elsewise.This is going to be one big blonde trio, but the third blonde in the bunch should have been Emma... Lindsay just seems too young to play this role. Then we heard that Kym is sick. That doesn't help this team at all because Lindsay is a wonderful dancer but not a likely teacher to Ingo. Prediction? 23 or maybe lower (and we hope we are wrong)
We will see how terrible our predictions are. Anything can happen on DWTS - and probably will.