No, we’re not talking about the Olympics and the 1992 U.S. Men’s Basketball Team. We’re onto something much better. We’re talking about Tristan MacManus and Season 15 and our projected Dream Team(s); there are 6 of them, and all involve Tristan. We realize that only one of these can happen, but we like to look at things from all angles. There’s nothing wrong with thinking positively and thinking big. When it comes to Tristan, any partner that he has will end up becoming one-half of the Dream Team because Tristan is adaptable, talented, and pretty darn hot. In other words, he could make a Tristan-Betty White team look sexy. Way back when we did our wish list blog a few weeks ago, we predicted that Tristan and Melissa would be paired up, and we wanted Tristan and Melissa paired. We still do, but we wouldn’t complain about a sexy hot Tristan-Pamela Anderson match-up either. Any way you look at it, Tristan can create magic with any of these women...just think of the possibilities.
Shawn Johnson and Tristan – Team “We’re Still Thinkin’ About It But There Might Be A Whole Lot of Cute” – Now this one might be cute because Shawn is cute, but she might be a wee bit on the short side. Even with height estimates from 4’9” to 5’1” this could still work. Tristan could take the 16 year old MBT winner and bring out another side of her; now that she’s older, she might be able to put in a little sexy, a little sass, and a little flirtation to make the dances more believable and fun. She is a gymnast after all so we could see Tristan putting in some stellar choreography and perhaps a few jaw-dropping lifts in the Argentine Tango, and we know Shawn has the skills to pull it off. Besides if he can twirl me (Shakes) around with one arm in our Samba just like he did Karina in the Waltz and Peta in the Rumba, he could lift Shawn with one finger. Chances of it happening? Probably no more than about 5% but it’s still worth considering. (She would be better suited for Val).
Melissa Rycroft and Tristan – Team “You’re the One that I Want and Boy Howdy Do We Want This One” – This would be truly believable. Forget that Melissa is married and a mommy. She’s gorgeous, Tristan is gorgeous, she has those gorgeous lines and extension (thanks to all of that ballet) and Tristan has gorgeous lines and extension. It’s like a volcanic eruption of gorgeousness. It’s also a match made in dance heaven – a glorious partnership here with the King and Queen of Dance Purity gliding across the ballroom floor. Melissa is also gutsy and takes instruction well, and like Tristan, she’s not afraid to go all out. Chances of this one being announced? We think about 30%. We figure that we have to be right about something sometime eventually (and we’ve never ever been right about anything) so why not be right with this pairing? It's gonna happen. Mark it down. Our confidence is so attractive, isn’t it?
Kirstie Alley and Tristan – Team “Maybe. Maybe Not But We Ain’t Quite Sure Yet” - Our research tells us that Kirstie is about 5’7” (we thought she was taller), and with heels she’s would be eye to eye with Tristan. Would he be intimidated? Not a chance.Think of this partnership as similar to MacGrace, but Kirstie has the moves. Kristie is tough but we all know that Tristan runs the show the only way he can – his way. This one could happen, and it could be entertaining, but he’s due for a younger partner which substantially reduces the odds of this pairing. These two could really bring the heat though and Kirstie’s great, but we just don’t see this happening. There is maybe a 10 % chance at best. She may very well end up with Tony.
Bristol Palin and Tristan – This is where it gets interesting. Team “Don’t Bash Tristan’s Partner or We’ll Get Mean” might surprise everybody. No question that Bristol was kind of dull last time around, and by “kind of” we mean extremely, but she’s a pretty girl, and she can’t help who her mama is. Are we fans? Nah, but ABC chose her and somebody is going to be her partner. If it’s Tristan, that’s okay because he will turn her into not only a passable dancer but a good one. He will also make her have fun. Not to mention that Tristan has a different dreamy kind of charisma that Mark doesn't have and so the chemistry between Bristol and Tristan could be interesting. We can definitely see a pretty hearty blush in her cheeks as well as an adorably innocent smile on her lips as Tristan gazes into her eyes and leads her across the dance floor. Team “Awww Shucks” could be their backup name. He also has enough charisma for an entire fleet of pros, and he is the best teacher of all of ‘em. Bring it on. The chances? About 20%. Personally we think this might be a Derek or Tony match-up but we can live with it if she is paired with Tristan. Because we are strong. We are invincible. We are woman. We mean women. Whatever.
Kelly Monaco and Tristan - Team “We'll See Once It Happens But The SWAT and Shakes Oddsmakers Say ‘No’ ” - For some reason this partnership doesn’t seem particularly likely. It's not that Tristan wouldn't look good with Kelly; we just don’t necessarily see her as an option for him. Kelly was fabulous with Alec Mazo way back in Season 1 so we know that she's got the goods. Since Derek has announced that this will be his last season however we can see ABC giving Kelly to him. However if she was partnered with Tristan there is no doubt in our minds that these two could pull off some serious chemistry. Kelly is beautiful and knows how to bring the sass. Tristan is pretty much the male version in this equation so y'all do the math. It's a great thought, but again...it just doesnt seem like it's in the cards this season. The chances? About 10%.
Pamela Anderson and Tristan – Team “Flirty, Sexy, and Surprise the Pants off of the Masses” – Damian and Pamela gave us a taste of what could be, and we loved them. From that hair-tossing Cha Cha in Week One of Season 10, we got a big kick out of her. There's no doubt that Pamela could really get Tristan blushing from time to time, but she’s very down to earth and an extremely hard worker. For that very reason we know that Tristan would get on with her fabulously. He wasn't able to bring any serious heat with his last two partners for obvious reasons, so if Pamela turns out to be Tristan's partner, then we have the fire extinguishers on standby for when they get to perform a serious Rumba. Okay, so maybe team Tristan-Pamela would eventually be called “Team Hose Me Down”. The chances of this one happening? About 25% This is a definite possibility for Mr. MacManus!
Yes, we have 6 Dream Teams. We are an Equal Opportunity Blog, and we believe in giving all ladies a chance. No matter who he gets to Tango, Rumba, or Samba Roll with (uh, no, we take that back. Shakes insists on the Samba roll monopoly), we’ll be happy. Why? Because DWTS is the Tristan MacManus Show now, and he’s going to be running it for a while.
Last week we gave you part 1 of our all-in-fun awards. These are a tongue-in-cheek tribute to all of you on our forum who have put up with our growing pains and have helped us along the way. That doesn't stop us from making fun of you, of course. Enjoy it! We love you all.
The Man of the Year Award – Tristan MacManus - This goes to our own Irish dancing star for putting up with us, agreeing to our interview, being a gentleman, and for putting up with us. And for putting up with us.
The “Let It Rock” and the "You Rock" Award – Malory - who bewilders, bewitches, and amuses us with her unusual song choices on the “I Love Music” thread. It keeps us on our toes, and we love a challenge. So does everyone else apparently because there is always a quick response to her musical selections. She also gets the "You Rock" Award because ever since she's been a member of MML, she's given it a big fat boost of energy that was much-needed.
Stealth Award – Rumba 1 - She’s always flying around under the radar and popping up at all the right times when we need some sense talked into us. Or a thread bumped. Or somebody to smack us upside the head and tell us we’re being idiots. It happens frequently.
The Head Scratcher Award – Duchess Gummy Buns - Because, well, who the hell is Duchess Gummy Buns?
The Most True to Life User Name Award – Starry Eyes - Her user name really hits home because that’s how we all felt the minute we saw Tristan in those sexy Cha Cha suspenders. The backstory behind her name is kind of amazing too, but that's for another time.
The Devil Went Down to Georgia Award – Cha Cha – She is the brave soul who dared to make Mephistopheles her avatar, and we are actually kind of digging it.
The Best Transplant Award – DWTSRinger, 153Dancer, Babs, and KYWoman – These ladies can always be counted on to share their wisdom and wit in the most unexpected ways and at the most unexpected times. Between the snarky humor and the funny stuff that they come up with, we realized these ladies are just like us. Besides, they came to us from the ABC board so they have some serious chutzpah. We likey.
The What Are You Waiting For Award – RomanceWriter1 - Okay, RW, put your money where your mouth is. It’s time to live up to your user name and write us some sexy romantic fiction about a lonely, brooding, and yet lovable Irish dancer looking for love in all the wrong places until he stumbles across a website filled with Irish ballroom dancer-loving crazy women. Uh, maybe she should come up with the storyline herself…
The Sasha Farber’s Got Nothing On You When It Comes To Twitter Award – LC and Chiquita - These 2 have been tweeting, retweeting, and replying to almost every single Tristan related tweet out there in Twitterland. It looks like Tristan has some very wise unpaid marketing help on his team. If ABC hasn’t gotten the message yet that Tristan needs to return to DWTS then there’s something stinky in the fish pond.
The It’s Time to Change Your User Name Award – Is It Tuesday – This lovely lady amused us (and still does) last winter when she joined us just before the cast announcement which was being held on a Tuesday, hence the “Is It Tuesday” [yet] user name. Since this year it is on a Friday, might we suggest “Is It Friday”? But maybe not. It will be a Tuesday when Tristan wins his first Mirror Ball Trophy, so maybe it’s perfect after all.
The Permanent Dungeon Resident Award– Jayne and Teal Ribbon - What are we gonna do with these 2? Okay, we will just join them in the dungeon. After all, Jayne stirred things up with her “Hot Stuff” lyrics for the Samba description thread, and she had an idea right then that she was going to be dungeon bound. And we quote: “and then the lyrics from the same song that are a bit rated for our sweet little community, but they are the actual recording... so I'm headed to the dungeon as I type this... "wanna share my love with a warm blooded lover wanna bring a wild man back home . Teal Ribbon went a little over the top too, but the problem is that we agree with her just like we agree with Jayne. This was from Teal Ribbon's Samba-describing lyrics: "You're so damn hot, yeah you're so damn hot, Well you're so damn hot, yeah you're so damn hot". That actually says it all very nicely and very articulately. See y'all in the dungeon!
It Must Be Fate Award – Jetsgirl2017 who shares the same birthday with the man. July 23. Now don’t be getting any crazy ideas, Jetsgirl. We (SWAT and Shakes) are officially changing our birthdays to July 23 too so we can join in on that “fate” thing. We can see it now - a birthday thread called "Happy Birthday Tristan, Jetsgirl, SWAT and Shakes." What are the odds? [Shakes wanted to add that by the strangest of coincidences it will be her 30th too. Uh, no.]
The Are We Slow Or What Award – All of us. LC is a long-time member of the site, but we didn’t know what LC stood for. Like KBRM, it confused us and we couldn’t figure it out, no matter how hard we tried. So finally we asked LC - What does LC stand for? This was a tough one. Lucky Charm. Good grief.
Crazy Assed Voting on Wetpaint Award – Where do we begin? This one goes to all of y’all because holy crap, you guys can vote!
The You Need to Lay off the Starbucks Award – Given by SWAT to Shakes (not to be confused with the Starbucks award given to Lily last week). Seriously, dude. No more coffee. Please.
The ‘Then Who Is She’ Award – NotJaneAusten – We’re not sure about this one. Is she or is she not Jane Austen? Is Tristan really Darcy? Does she go on the internet from Netherfield or Pemberly? Is Henry Byalikov Mr. Bingley? We just don’t know…..time travel? Hmmm. Tristan as the brooding Darcy. It has some possibilities….maybe she’s the the very annoying and prissy Caroline Bingley. It has to be that because we (SWAT and Shakes) are fighting over which of us gets to be Elizabeth Bennet in this little story.
The Rah Rah Award - Pattyh7n, TealRibbon, Azline Dancer (yes, she will be back!), and anybody else who is trying to win the dance lesson raffle - Trash talk or not, we hope that somebody from MML wins that sucker because nobody has worked harder to make it happen than the people on this website who have rallied the troops day after day to donate, donate, and donate some more. The trash talking was positively inspirational, and we don't care who wins - as long as it's one of us! Besides, we would all probably tag along to watch and laugh. Tristan might have to understand that we come as a group.
The Queens of the Gutter or The We've Been In the Jameson Again Award - Ripley, Lily, Patty, TinglyWink, Teal Ribbon, etc. - We still think the Gutter is part of the Dungeon Suite because those ladies (and others) seem to spend a lot of time there. So what really goes on in the gutter? All we know is that during Season 10 of DWTS the Evan and Anna Thread on the ABC message board was known as "the gutter" and that's where all the trouble was and where all the naughty people were sent. Just sayin....
The You Are Our Heroes Award - Tristan MacManus, Henry Byalikov, and Gina Carbone - They get honorary recognition because these 3 brave souls actually were courageous enough to give us interviews and then allowed those interviews to be posted all over our website - including MML. That was some risky business, and we applaud them for taking the chance. It didn't turn out too badly, did it?
And that finishes up this week’s edition of your awards. There may be a Part 3 coming soon – or maybe not. It just depends on our inspiration. If you go all wild and crazy next weekend when the celebrities are announced, chances are we will be pulling out the awards for outrageous behavior. Or maybe it will the next road trip adventure, or maybe it will be….
We hope you enjoyed this brief little blog post. Now you can go back to this week's real blog - the interview with Tristan that follows this post which is the best thing to happen around here for a while. Have fun!
When this site was established in late November, 2011, we knew, without a doubt, that Tristan’s supporters were a very special group. During the last eight months, we have refined this site, expanded our membership substantially, and constantly diversified to make it more user-friendly. Tristan was kind enough to take the time to talk with us today (July 17, 2012) about Dancing With the Stars, dance in general, teaching, his experiences in dance, and his very unique perspective. A very special thank you to Tristan for taking time to answer our questions.
Enjoy this delightful exchange and his very interesting outlook.
What has been the biggest challenge you have faced since being on DWTS? (For example, is it the teaching, the schedule, the travel with Gladys, etc.)
I think the biggest challenge so far has probably been just the whole package if that makes sense. I enjoy it but trying to keep everybody happy is impossible. Ha! I always say that I want my partner, whether they are one of the other professionals or ladies competing on the show to feel as comfortable as possible, trying to take all the stress out of the situation and have as much fun as possible at the same time. That can sometimes conflict with what people want to see and 'expect' from us! Some want to see the chemistry and relationship and some just want to see great dancing so trying to find the balance has been difficult enough but I think you have to stick to your convictions and do whatever you feel is right for each situation. Any given season is that person’s only experience of the show outside of being a viewer and fan, so I want to make it as enjoyable as possible.
We know that you’ve performed all over the world in many different productions. Of all of those, do you have a favorite or is there one that is particularly memorable for you?
I’ve been lucky enough to do a few shows and they have all contributed to where I am now and what I am striving to achieve so in that sense I can’t really pick a favourite, but I have enjoyed each production I have been lucky enough to be part of. Burn The Floor was the show that really opened my eyes to Latin and Ballroom dancing as we know it now and showed me another side of ballroom that I never knew of before then. Before that I did Simply Ballroom which was the first dance show I did when I decided to come back to dancing and if it wasn’t for that show I wouldn’t have been in Vegas at the same time as BTF which got me back in that show and touring the world. Dirty Dancing gave me a new role and also a chance to work on the West End and be in the environment which I love - theatre. Another stint on BTF in London led to Dancing With The Stars. I try to take something positive from every situation I’m in, but just like everyone else sometimes I don’t see that until later on!
We all love your "it is what it is" approach. How did you manage to develop such a positive attitude in a career that could never have been easy?
It’s easy to stay positive about what I do because it’s what I love to do. I have been in so many positions before where I couldn’t rub two pennies together. I was lucky to have a family supportive enough to 'bail me out' and also give me the ear full I needed to get straight. I know that I can get by without being in the public eye because I have done it all along and it’s what the majority of people do every day so when you don’t crave that role, it’s easy. What’s the worst that could happen? If something is wrong you have to ask yourself if you can do anything about it- if you can’t there is no point stressing about it. If you can, well, then you change it. It’s all about priorities for me.
When you are teaching someone who has little or no dance experience, how do you begin the teaching process? We know everyone is different, but how do you teach a beginner? Is there a particular dance you might choose to teach someone who has never danced before?
Everybody is different so as far as teaching goes there isn’t a formula that I stick to, but with everybody I try to just be normal - ask them how they are, what they like, what they don’t like, and try to relate everything to what I need them to do. It’s no different to me then meeting somebody new through a friend or on the street or anywhere in everyday life. You don’t try to make people your friend; you talk and then you relate and then you gain respect and start to work! You are both there to help each other so you can’t forget that you have to teach but you also have to learn. The term 'DANCE' sometimes intimidates people so without starting any particular dance you just get movement going and try to get your partner to follow directions - walk forward, turn around, go over there, straighten your legs, don’t look down - those kind of things.
You have developed a large fan base very quickly and earned an enormous amount of respect as a dancer, teacher, and choreographer. How does that make you feel, and how do you stay so kind and grounded when there is so much attention focused on you? (For instance, is it difficult dealing with all the demands on your time from so many different people?)
I have been surprised by the amount of attention I have been getting, but that’s a testament to how big the show is, and thanks goes to production and all the professionals before me for keeping the interest there. It’s very humbling and it is nice to give something back to my family for the support they have given me over the years and sacrifices they have made for me. It can be difficult with the demands and unfortunately I can’t accommodate them all but I will try. I make it easier for myself though because I know why I am part of the show and what I want from it... I don’t have to go to every premiere. I don’t have to support anything I don’t have an interest in. I don’t endorse things I don’t use so all I have to worry about is putting together dances and teaching them to my partner. If somebody contacts me with something of interest and I have the time, I will try get involved but for the sake that I have a genuine interest in it and not to get more face time. I stay grounded because that’s who I am and that is who my family and friends like and love so to be anything else would be somebody else.
Is there anything you would like to say to your fans and supporters?
Just a big thank you for all the support. I love to dance but I love even more to entertain and all the well wishes and notes of support are what inspire me to do it. The negativity doesn’t faze me so I suggest it doesn’t you either – Ha! I don’t need to be compared to anybody else because that’s not what I am in it for. I love what I do and if I entertain 1 or one million I’m happy because it only takes one person to make a difference, and if I can convince one person to follow what they love then they in turn can convince the next person and so on. Thank you for all your efforts and I will continue to try my best to give you all what you deserve which is a great show and if not........what’s the worst that could happen????
And this, is why we adore Tristan MacManus. Thank you, Tristan!
We got to thinking about the fact that we have handed out all kinds of valuable awards, but we have yet to pay homage to those geniuses, comedians, songwriters, and poets who have been the entertainment on our forum for the 8 months since this website began. Don’t worry; this is only Part 1. We have more awards coming than you will ever want to read about, and no, you don’t get anything except the honor of knowing you did something outrageous. Remember how we’ve said that things you say on MML will come back to haunt you? Here you go. Enjoy!
42DD Award - Em 33 - Who could forget what might be one of the funniest conversations to date on MML? Em33 was the first to take one of our seemingly innocent multiple choice forum polls regarding something as simple as how many votes an individual had placed for Season 14, Design A Dance, or who knows what else, and turn it into a full out guffaw-fest regarding bra size. For the sheer humor and ingenuity of taking a poll with such an innocuous beginning (and with choices only being A, B, C, and D) and really taking it into material that should be used on Comedy Central, Em deserves this award hands down!
Big Mouth Award - Azline Dancer – She may be temporarily out of commission, but she’s not forgotten. She is our forum’s honorary Big Mouth for having a record number of posts in the shortest period of time. How one person can come up with so much witty repartee is beyond us. We’re keeping up the nonsense, but nobody posted more or more often, and we love her all the more for it.
Why Not Confuse Us Even More Award - Distracted, More Distracted, and Most Distracted and their distant cousins Bemused and Distracted, Mystified, and Befuddled. These clowns thought it might be funny to confuse us with their user names, and the first evil spawn, Distracted, decided to take her name when we blogged about Tristan being a distraction. It ballooned into a User Name frenzy that still confuses us. Half the time, we think we are talking to one person when we are actually talking to like...12. We tend to lump them all together and call them the Distracteds, however, we're sure there are more of them out there. We just can’t keep them straight.
Trash Talk Award - Teal Ribbon. TR deserves the trash talk award for her walker and orthopedic shoes smackdown of Shakes during the discussion over who would get bragging rights to the dance lesson. TR is delusional because she thinks she’s going to win it, but we have to give her kudos for the suggestion that the walker be decorated with green sparkly glitter or something equally obnoxious.
The Pied Piper of the Dungeon Award - Ripley. First of all, Ripley is the quiet one yet she always seems to not only direct traffic to the dungeon, but she is also the ringleader for most of the mischief. It just goes to show you that you can never trust the Boss (and no, we’re not talking Springsteen here. We’re talking the one who came up with the original idea for this website). Keep an eye on her; we seem to remember that she suggested accompanying us on the road trip and driving while we leaned out of the sun roof singing along to Air Supply or something equally sinister.
The Waffle House Award - Acrobat Ballet- Lots of people who party all night long or work late hours always find themselves sitting at the Waffle House, and this is exactly how we picture AB with her laptop at 4:30 a.m. Now we know that AB lives in a different time zone but that woman must have insomnia worse than Shakes because she is on the forum at all hours of the night and early morning. She also is our honorary “keep the renegades in line” forum member because on the rare occasions that our administrators sleep, she seems to keep things going.
The We Wanna Be You Award or The American Express Award - Pattyh7n. This lady has lived, traveled, and worked in places most of us have only imagined. The only problem is that we don’t know if she’s nosing around Bray while most of us are here sweltering in the heat of the good old U.S.A. In other words, Patty, we are totally jealous of you and don't be surprised if you find us on your doorstep one morning with a bunch of mismatched luggage - assuming we could find you, of course.
Unsolved Mystery Award - KBRM - Of course we realize that people like to keep their private lives private, so we knew that when we started MML that there would be a hint of mystery from all of us about our identities. Not too long ago we had a discussion about the origination of screen names, and always in true form, KBRM opted out of spilling the beans on hers and it remains a mystery to this day. We explored every avenue trying to figure it out, and it looks like Sherlock Holmes is the only person who might be able to crack the mystery of KBRMs screen name...in other words... we got nuttin'. We might have to ask Super Spy 0014 to investigate because we’re clueless on this one, but we are fairly sure she is just doing it to annoy us and to get a few giggles. After some careful scrutiny and some early suggestions back on MML, we think KBRM stands for “Kinky Boots Really Matter." That’s probably it.
The Wee Smart Ass Award - Reformed Lurker - Not only is she a troublemaker who first called us “Brats”, but she is totally unapologetic about it. Yep, she always seems to find a way to zing us with her razor sharp comebacks, and most of the time we don't even see them coming, which is why we find it so hilarious. She also created many of our most memorable bumper stickers. Keep ‘em coming, RL. She’s probably some sort of Bumper Sticker Whiz Kid or C.E.O. of Bumpity Bump Bump Bumpers or something ridiculous, and we are just giving her an outlet to practice her Bumpity wisdom on us.
The Starbucks Award - Lily - Every so often a poster comes along and expresses so much enthusiasm for one person (in this case Tristan MacManus), that you can only assume that they've been throwing back one too many Venti Nonfat Caramel Macchiatos with a couple of extra espresso shots, as well as munching on chocolate covered espresso beans in between meals. We actually admire Lily's unwavering zeal and her lively, hilarious, and quirky posts. It makes us wonder why we don't have that kind of energy. Keep doing whatever you're doing, Lily, because it's working!
Honorary Permanent Dungeon Resident (while taking the rest of us with her) Award - StirredNotShaken – This quiet poster stirred things up in a big way when she said the Design a Dance Samba was a "religious experience”. We’re going to keep quiet because we know full well that we will be spending the rest of our summer down in that dungeon if we delve any further on this subject. Oh who the hell are we kidding? We get it, and talk about singing the Hallelujah Chorus when we saw Tristan dancing that Samba. Oh, and can we get an AMEN!
The Sherlock Holmes Award - Tingly Wink - Who knew that anybody really liked all of those hundreds and hundreds of posts on the ABC message board during Season 13 that your site administrators and some early members are largely responsible for? TW gets big hugs and kisses for not only reading all of that pure, unadulterated crap, but for tracking us down on twitter, (at which time, we said, “Get over to MML. STAT).
The Funny Caption Award - Cha Cha - This is for when we had our photo captioning thread and the photo was one of the Cha Cha with Nancy where Tristan had slid across the floor and was on his knees in front of Nancy. I believe Cha Cha’s exact words were: “Now THAT’s how you ask a girl to dance.” Yeah we remember lots of crap. .
The I Like To Stir Things Up Award - LL from DublinDown 330 – We were under the mistaken assumption that she was all corporate like, prissy, and straight-laced. Not so. She has caused more mischief than the rest of us put together, and that’s all we’re sayin’.
The You Convinced Us All That We Might Actually Be Able to Dance Award - Tristan MacManus – The Samba King himself has to get an award because he has convinced us that we will not only rock the Cha Cha or tempt him with our Tango, but that we will seduce him with our Rumba, mesmerize him with our Waltz, or, heaven forbid, wow him with our Samba rolls. Every single one of us who has entered to win that dance lesson is convinced we will be the future of DWTS. We are also all delusional.
The Obsession With Tristan’s Chest (hair) Award – SWAT and Acrobat Ballet - This award is presented by Shakes to these two who just can’t seem to get enough of the chest. Or the chest hair. That’s all I’m divulging on this topic.
The It’s Always the Quiet Ones Award – Pumpkin (the quiet ones are always the funny ones) -She posted the following on “You Might Be A Tristan MacManus Fan if…” - “…you have watched Tristan’s dances on you tube so many times that your computer is now rolling its eyes at you when you log on.” Now we don't know about y'all but that one is just so funny because it's true, and it came from Miss Pumpkin....or as Tristan would call her Miss Poompkin.
The Getting Down To the Real Nitty Gritty Award - LoveTheHeartthrob - We like the no-frills approach; not only does she have a user name that amuses us, but she also figured out exactly what to do in the dance lesson (no, she's not going to win it) when Tristan heats up the ballroom with all that, well, heat. She called it just right when she said, "It's hot in here because the A/C broke, but we'll just move the dance lesson to my place...."
Part 2 to come next week. Or later this week. Or whenever we feel like it. You don't want to miss it.
Who should be in the DWTS All-Star Season? I have strong opinions on this one: no original pairs. I have no interest in seeing Shawn and Mark again, nor do I want to see Evan and Anna (even though they are my favorite all-time on DWTS). It’s time to separate the men from the boys, the real dancers from the pretenders, and the judges’ favorites from the real dancers. There should be no klutzes like SWAT and I, no controversial candidates like, oh, Bristol or Kate, and with one exception, no reality show people. We don’t even like the idea of previous winners returning, but it might be interesting to see some of the earlier winners come back because the competition is so much stiffer now. We even put some very popular pros are in the iffy category along with our recommended substitutes. Why? It's because we’re going with how we really think this should play out; what’s fair, what’s just, what’s equitable, and who we think deserves it the most. So here you have the cast of Season 15 – the All-Star Season – as we think it should be followed by how we think it will eventually end up.
Tristan – He’s the obvious choice for obvious reasons. He’s proven that he can dance with Nancy, with Gladys, and with all the female pros. I dare say he could teach Kate Gosselin or Master P to dance, but we wouldn’t wish Kate on him or anyone else, and even though Tristan brought it up in one of the Dublin Down 330 videos, we really don’t want to see him as a featured performer on “Dancing With Blokes.” Besides, he won Design A Dance. Did we mention he WON DESIGN A DANCE? Oh yeah, and he and Chelsie gave us what we think is the best DaD performance ever. He’s a given. He should be the first pro announced because, well, we said so, and that’s reason enough. Of course, they will probably make us wait until the last possible moment, escalate the drama, and put us all on anxiety alert status.
Henry Byalikov –This one is a no-brainer. Forget that he’s only been with us for one season; he stood out from the first moment he stepped onto the big dance floor, and he has more charisma than the rest of the pros combined (excluding Tristan, of course, who has charisma instead of pores in his skin). In addition, he’s a saint, he gave us an interview way back before the rest did their own thing, he’s the second best dancer on the show (guess who is first), and he has great abs. Nobody on the show can top those abs. Nobody. I mean those are really great abs. Did we mention the abs?
Maks – Maks has to come back just because he’s good, he’s had some great opportunities to win (and probably should have won a couple of them), and because he was always a perfect gentleman to Nancy and Gladys. Sure, he mouths off to Larry, Moe, and Curly, and that’s tacky, but everybody is tacky sometimes, and any way you look at it, Maks is fun, funny, and adorable.
Tony – He gets a free ride because he had Kate Gosselin in Season 10. No further explanation needed. Besides, he probably should have won with Stacy Keibler in Season 2. It doesn’t mean, however, that he’s going to get a repeat with Stacy. Nope. No original pairs for us, no matter who they are. Sorry, Tony, you’re in, but you’ll have to dance with someone else.
Mark – This was a tricky one because we kind of think Mark should take a season off, yet he sort of inched his way back into our good graces. Why? In Season 14, he had a partner who could dance so he didn’t have to showboat and over dance. In addition, he chose Tristan for the Trio Dance, and as a result, we had a good week of the Tristan and Mark bromance sightings on Twitter. That’s good enough for us. Alternate? Sasha Farber
Derek – No, we’re not part of the Derek fan club. We listed him because we want to see if he’ll choose another yellow Samba or Salsa costume. Actually, we’re kidding. We want Dmitry to have this spot. Or better yet, Damian, but we think Damian will stick with DWTS Australia because they appreciate his true talents and for some screwed up reason, DWTS America didn’t bring him back. Dmitry is sexy and a tall drink of water which also means, he can dance with tall celebrities. He also seems to be missing a huge ego which gives him bonus points right there.
Anna – We love Anna, and she is the obvious choice because we cannot imagine a season without her. She's also our favorite female pro, and she did an amazing performance with Tristan in that pro dance in the finale. Based on what we’ve seen, nobody can do a better waltz (think of all those great waltzes with Jonathan), nobody is a better choreographer (think of the magic in Season 10 - she and Evan should have won Season 10 in case we haven’t said it enough already), and she’s gorgeous. Bottom line – Anna is way overdue for a mirror ball trophy.
Kym – We love Kym. She’s cute, sweet, and would do some great pro dances with Tristan. She doesn't showboat, and she's a great teacher. We know she can dance just about anything, but I remember reading somewhere that her favorite dance is the foxtrot. Can you imagine Kym and Tristan doing a foxtrot demo? Epic.
Karina – We were never huge Karina fans until Season 12. She was great with Ralph, she was adorable with J.R., and she was even more so with Gavin DeGraw. In addition, she is sexy, she dances like a dream, we want to see more performances with Karina and Tristan, and we’ve grown to love her.
Peta – She’s in because she won Season 14, but we don’t think that’s quite good enough. Not yet. We want to see how she might do with a less popular celebrity than a football player – a non-athlete maybe. We’re not so sure Peta would have won last season without a celebrity who had a mega fan base – such as a football player, and we’re not sure she would have won without having a partner who had enormous physical size and strength to do the lifts that were a huge part of her choreography. We could be wrong, but we want to see what she can do with a not so popular athlete or an ordinary bloke (like how we threw a Tristan word in?). We get the feeling that she may rely a bit too heavily on flash instead of substance, and we're hoping another season proves us wrong.
Chelsie – We want her back because she is lots of fun and we loved her with Ty, and we loved her Samba with Tristan. She’s energetic, energizing, and different. Besides, she fits with the celebrities we have chosen.
Sharna – We chose Sharna because it’s time for a change, and Sharna is kind, sweet, a heck of a choreographer, and Cheryl needs to take some time off for a season or two. Chances are it will be Cheryl in instead, but in lieu of Cheryl, we would choose Sharna. She’s edgy and pushes the limits, but she doesn’t cross the line like some pros do.
Gilles Marini – finished 2nd in Season 8 – He is arguably the best male pro (or second best male pro) ever on Dancing With the Stars. He was fun to watch, he was a great student, and he was sexy without being over the top. Free of injuries, he could be amazing again. He can smolder with the best of them, but let's see him heat things up with a different pro.
Evan Lysacek – finished 2nd in Season 10 – The other best male pro ever on Dancing With the Stars (yeah, we have 2 of them). He and Gilles are in a class by themselves, and in our opinion, both Gilles and Evan should have won their respective seasons. Evan is hopefully going to be competing in the Winter Olympic Games, so chances are, he won’t be available, but we sure would love another chance to see him. Talk about lines and extension…. Alternate: Mario Lopez
Joey Fatone – Finished 2nd in Season 4 – He’s fun, he’s cute, and we’re not quite ready to label him with ringer status even though he’s been dancing in the Las Vegas show for weeks. If he ends up too well-trained, we would be in favor of a replacement player - oh, say, maybe Cameron Mathison from Season 7.
Cristián de la Fuente – Finished 3rd in Season 6 – What can we say about Cristián? He was good. Really, really good. As we go back and look at Cheryl’s past partners, it gets a little much to see the number of heartthrobs or labeled heartthrobs who have danced with her – Gilles, Cristián, and William immediately come to mind. Let’s see how Cristián works his magic with another pro. Frankly, the scores didn’t show it, but he was heads and shoulders above William Levy in every department. He’s the Latin heartthrob we really want to see again. No offense to William who seems like a sweetheart, but he couldn’t match Cristián’s skill, charm, and charisma. Or heat.
Mark Dacascos – Finished 6th in Season 9 – What a treasure! And what a letdown he must have had. He was good. Lacey probably wasn’t the best partner choice because she was too willing to let him use his martial arts skills in the dance. There were times when that just didn’t work although he did some amazing moves in the jive and paso that were perfect for those particular performances. Then there was that whole disaster of a week when he was filming in New York, Lacey got sick and couldn’t rehearse, Tony stepped in to help him learn the Samba, and ultimately Mark flew back to LA, and Anna met with him beginning on Saturday. Because she didn’t know the choreography, she had to teach him two new routines for the Monday show. Two days to learn two routines, and both of them were magnificent. I thought their Samba was a good one, but the judges annihilated them, and he went home. I think he has everything necessary to win this thing with the right partner. And we have just the right one for him. If anyone deserves a second chance on DWTS, it is Mark Dacascos.
Ralph Macchio – Finished 4th in Season 12 – Ralph wasn’t the best technical performer, but he is a born entertainer, and who didn’t love Ralph? In addition, he improved every single week. He and Karina were magical, but let’s see how it works with another partner. We have some ideas.
Lisa Rinna – Finished 4th in Season 2 – She was amazing, she had all the right moves (probably better overall than Stacy Keibler) and we still remember that little snippet of a waltz she did with Tristan when Nancy was asking for a few hints.
Stacey Keibler – Finished 3rd in Season 2 – She and Tony were good; we think she and another pro would be better. And probably sexier.
Mel B – Finished 2nd Season 5 – She and Maks did some of the most memorable Pasos ever on DWTS; now let’s see how much she could turn up the heat with someone else. It’s impossible to recreate the same chemistry, and to see who really has “it”, we need to see her with another pro.
Melissa Rycroft – Finished 3rd in Season 8 – I’m not a fan of reality stars on this show – ever, and I’m the first to admit that when I heard she was replacing Nancy O’Dell, I almost went into convulsions. Melissa proved to be the exception. She was smart and not afraid to show it. She was fun, likeable, and for Tony, a dream partner. Everybody loved her, and so do we.
Kelly Monaco – Winner of Season 1 – Why Kelly? We want to see how the Season 1 winner stacks up against those who came along later when the standards were much higher and the expectations greater. We think she’ll do just fine. Alec Mazo isn’t around now, but we have a great partner choice for her.
Mya – Finished 2nd Season 9 – We’ll just say it. Donny was not a better dancer, but the day Donny went onto GMA to help announce the cast, I knew he was going to win it. He could have danced like me and won. He could have not shown up to dance and would have won. It was a given, and frankly, I never liked his dancing. I was always uncomfortable watching it. Mya is as close to a ringer as we’ll get in this group, but she and Dmitry were sizzling. She would sizzle more and go further with someone else. Her freestyle could have and should have been the best ever. The music was amazing, but the choreography held her back. Too bad. She wouldn’t have won anyway because she had to deal with the D-factor (Donny), but it would have been fun to see her dance full out.
The Dream Match-Ups:
Tristan and Melissa (Team Sex It Up) - The easy choice here would be to recommend Mya as Tristan’s partner, but we never take the easy path. Melissa was good, she listened, she didn’t argue, and she improved every week. Let her sizzle in the Samba with Tristan, glide in the waltz, flirt in the Cha Cha, and wow us with the Rumba, because, let’s face it – these are 2 gorgeous people who could create some serious dance floor magic. And we mean the heat would be overpowering. As far as we’re concerned you can’t have too much heat in the ballroom. Just remember that look Tristan gave Chelsie at the end of the Design a Dance Samba. Any questions?
Maks and Stacy Keibler (Team Tall and Taller That Might Not Have A Single Spark) – This one might fizzle fast, but it would give us a chance to see how good Stacy is, and how long Maks’s patience would last with somebody who has the innate skills she does. Would they have the chemistry? Now that’s the burning question. When I watch early season performances again, I don’t see the chemistry that we see with some couples now. This would be a very interesting pair. Could they pull it off? No clue.
Dmitry and Mel B (Team Tall Drink of Water With a Little Edge)– This one might just blow up fast because Mel B is a strong personality and just might try to railroad Dmitry, but he is a great choreographer, and this partnership could also be explosive – in a good way. I can see them doing an unforgettable Rumba, Argentine Tango, and Paso.
Tony and Lisa Rinna (Team Totally Who The Heck Knows) – I have a good feeling about this one. I can see them meshing well personality wise, style wise, and dance wise. She’s strong, talented, and fit; he deserves another chance – let’s see how far he could take her. I think she’s one of the best dancers ever on DWTS. She was good with Louis, but she might be even better with Tony because Tony would let all of that passion out. Would it work? This is anyone’s guess.
Henry and Mya (Team Volcanic Eruption) - You know you want to see this one. She has the skill to match Henry’s extraordinary choreography. He’s popular and might just bring her the mirror ball trophy. They are both intense, passionate, and playful. Both are athletic, powerful, and charismatic. They could completely bowl over most of the rest of the competition, and then wouldn't it be DWTS Heaven to see Henry and Mya up against Tristan and Melissa in the finals? Oooh, I love this possibility.
Mark and Kelly Monaco (Team No Over Dancing Please)– Kelly is probably the weakest of the field, so let’s see how –or if – Mark can pull this off. He has a tendency to over dance to showcase himself when his partner is weaker, and that drives us crazy. We think Kelly would surprise us all and be absolutely brilliant, and she’s a tough cookie. She’d probably smack him if he tried to dance around her.
Anna and Gilles (Team Spontaneous Combustion) – Obviously Evan is the ideal partner for Anna, but no matter how spectacular they were in Season 10, we don’t want to see the originals matched up again. Gilles and Anna could be even better than Gilles and Cheryl were. Why? We think Anna is one of the most innovative choreographers on DWTS, and these two have such exotic good looks that the intensity would burn the place up. It's a perfect pairing, in our opinion.
Kym and Evan (Team He Should Have Won With Anna So Here’s Another Shot) – Kym deserves the guy with this kind of talent. She may have won two mirror ball trophies, but we don’t think that her partners had anywhere near the kind of ability that Evan has. Both Evan and Kym have exquisite lines and extraordinary extension on every move. Obviously that whole Olympic thing might get in the way. If Evan’s not available, bring in our second choice – Mario Lopez. They would be smoking hot too, and we would call them Team Pass Out Cold Because of the Heat.
Karina and Cristián (Team Karina and The Real Latin Heartthrob) – This one would be fiery hot and technically brilliant. Without the injuries, he would shine. There is no doubt at all that they would have chemistry – probably more than he and Cheryl ever dreamed of having. She is just so darned good, and he is just so darned sexy and talented that this could very well be a winner. Just imagine them doing a real Argentine Tango. The fire department would be on standby.
Sharna and Mark Dacascos (Team You Thought Sasha Could Backflip?) – Can you imagine these two together? With their strength, athleticism, and flair, they could win this thing in a stunning upset. The Lacey/Mark pairing was never a great one, but Sharna and Mark? Hot, brilliant, and incredible. Talk about bringing the WOW factor. And talk about an epic freestyle.
Chelsie and Ralph Macchio (Team Adorable) – We think this one would be fun, flirty, hilarious, and a huge fan favorite. Chelsie’s exuberance and passion for dance and Ralph’s great attitude and performance skills would be a great ratings boost. I don’t think they would win, but they would make the season worth watching for sure. And who knows? They might pull off the impossible.
Peta and Joey Fatone (or Cameron) (Team Amusement Park) – Any way this one goes – Peta and Joey or Peta and Cameron would be loads of fun. Both Joey and Cameron have great senses of humor, both are naturally funny, and both can dance. I can see this one as being hugely entertaining, and it would be one wild ride.
How we think it will end up. The pairings above are how we want it to end up. Unfortunately, we never seem to get what we want. Here’s how we think it will end up.
Tristan – Melissa Rycroft (Team Razzle, Dazzle, and Sex It Up) – note this is the only one that is both the one we are predicting and also the one we want. It’ll never happen.
Maks – Mel B (Team Déjà vu)
Val – Marie Osmond (Team Please, No)
Derek – Brooke Burke (Team At Least She Isn’t Co-Hosting)
Mark – Sabrina Bryan (Team You Didn’t Get the Votes the First Time, But What the Heck)
Tony – Stacy Keibler (Team Really Tall Pretty People)
Anna – Joey Fatone (Team Laugh a Lot, Goof Off, and Win Lots of Hearts)
Cheryl – Gilles Marini (Team It Was Great Once, It’ll Suck This Time)
Kym – Donny Osmond (Team Please No, Part 2)
Karina – Ralph Macchio (Team All-Around Adorable)
Lacey or Chelsie– Drew Lachey (Team Push the Limits)
Peta – John O’Hurley, Mario Lopez, or Cameron Mathison (Team Maybe It’ll Work, Maybe It Won’t)
And there you have it. Our prediction is that our predictions will be 99% wrong. But it’s fun anyway.
SWAT and I (me, being Shakes) are feeling very poetic these days, and that’s a dangerous thing. The last time we tried to write Tristan-related poetry it was an unmitigated disaster. Believe me, it’s not an understatement when we tell you that our haikus stink, our rhymes are laughable (and not in an amusing way), and our talent (if you can call it that) rests in prose. That, however, doesn’t stop us. We decided to give it a shot again, but all we’re doing this time is making crap up and calling it a poem. This little beauty is an acrostic poem which basically for us means we’re saying a whole lot more with the first letter in every line than with the nonsense that follows it. No Nobel Prize for Literature, we promise, but this shows why we never take ourselves too seriously. And this poem is also a rhetorical question, so we don’t expect an answer, but we couldn’t just type a question vertically and leave it without putting our own unique twist to it. So here you have it….our first published poetry (**snort snort**) Besides, somebody asked this question somewhere, so we decided it deserves an answer. By the way, nothing rhymes in this mess we're calling a poem. Would you really expect it to?
W ell, it goes something like this..
H e (meaning Tristan), never does the Samba or Salsa when wearing the color…
Y ellow, because that’s just wrong. Plain wrong. He isn’t a canary.
I nstead, he braves a new frontier by Sambaing in teal (or black) which is…
S amba at its best. Probably Salsa too because teal isn’t puke-worthy like yellow feathers and stuff.
T ristan is the king of making us all go crazy, and it's not like he even tries. He...
R eally is just very modest and rarely shows off anything...
I nterestingly enough he has the chest hair of a tantalizing Celtic Adonis and hips that...
S cream something sexy…or at least that don’t lie
T oday marks the 311th day that we have been in love with Tristan...
A nd we don't see the end in sight.
N ow you might think that we’ve already said enough but we also like to…
M acManiac [yes, it's also a verb now] the crap out of youtube, and watch every Tristan video known on TristanTV
A nd post endlessly on MacManialand about fake boyfriend suspenders, and of course the
C ha Cha which defines sexy, flirty, fun, and wowza..
M akes you wish that Mr. MacManus would talk to you – that brogue…
A nd then you start thinking about dance lessons
N eedless to say, the Rumba is so appealing
U nless you want to do bold and super-sexy and shake it all in a super red hot
S amba … because thats when you get to see the hips really move
S hallow. Yep. That’s what we are. We admit it but…
O nly one of us can win. One dance. One crazy catastrophic, destined to be disastrous dance
S hakes and SWAT will try to out-do each other with…
T utus with twinkling Christmas tree lights, or…
I ridescent feathered frocks or…
N eon green boas or..
K inky go-go boots or…
I nnocent white ruffles….
N ah. That’s nuts. No innocent anything. We’re sticking with
G awdy, bold, bawdy, and bodacious.
H e (meaning Tristan)
O f course, defines…
T empting, tantalizing, totally-wicked, and yes, we’re trite and know it.
? So how do you like him now?
Thank you Tristan for giving us nothing to work with in the off-season. Look what you've done. You've subjected your beloved MacManiacs to the unthinkable - crappy poetry by Shakes and SWAT.