Season 16 will probably be more of the same, and it will probably be controversial. We are not thinking controversy just yet, but what we are thinking about are our Season 16 wish lists, and we keep changing our very confused minds and mixing things up all too often. One thing has become obvious throughout this long process (which really wasn’t that long anyway); we obviously have no idea what we’re talking about. Yet clearly, we have very different ideas about what we want to see this season, but the casts we each envision make us both go a little weak in the knees – for very different reasons. Then there is the “Will Derek return or will he not?” discussion. We think he will, but we’re going under the assumption that he will do what he said he was going to do several months ago, and bow out. Enjoy our Season 16 Wish Lists.
Sometimes I think SWAT and I share a brainstem; sometimes I think a different planet, solar system, or universe is involved. Our choices for Season 16 aren’t even close. This is what happens with us. We thought that this was going to be an easy one because after all, we agree on almost everything. Not this time, however. We didn’t have a single match on our wish lists. My bet is that neither one of us is right about any of it. Why should it work out differently this time? Our prediction success rate is somewhere in the negative numbers. In my wish list, I didn’t include Kym because of her current reality show filming in Australia, but if she’s back (and I hope she is), that would mean Emma or Oksana would lose out. I also think Cheryl will be back. Maks and Derek too. That could mean not a single new pro in the group, which is unfortunate because we need some new energy. And choreography.
In an almost perfect world, this is my list.
Tristan – Emmanuelle Chriqui – Forget that her name hasn’t even been mentioned as a rumored celebrity; I think Tristan and Emmanuelle would not only sizzle, smolder and spontaneously combust, but they would knock our socks off with their electric energy, passion, and artistry, and they would Cha Cha, Tango, and Waltz straight to the finale. She is #1 on my wish list to be Tristan’s celebrity partner. I want to see Tristan have the chance to turn up the heat to epic levels, and she would give him that chance. Fire extinguisher anyone?
Tony – Lee Meriwether – She’s been rumored over and over again, and it wouldn’t surprise me to see her on the show. Age is an issue, but that didn’t stop ABC from bringing in Cloris Leachman and Florence Henderson to dance with Corky. Lee is feisty and even at age 77, she is beautiful. She could keep the young egomaniac whippersnappers in check. The show needs her. She kept Barnaby Jones in his place; she can certainly handle a cast of renegade dancers and wannabe dancers.
Sasha – Oksana Baiul – Now the obvious choice would be one of the Fierce Five, but they just don’t work for me other than as amazing Olympians. Besides the whole appearance in the Shawn/Derek freestyle which was incredibly distracting and annoying, they are too young. In Season 8 and even to some extent in Season 15, Shawn couldn’t capture the emotion of the dance and was missing the chemistry with Mark and/or Derek that was needed to make the dancing believable. Technical performance was never an issue, but the emotional connection that comes with age and experience was missing. So instead of a young gymnast, why not bring one of the feisty figure skaters with attitude? Oksana and Sasha would have a blast, and they would bring a fun dynamic to the show – something that has been missing for a while.
Maks – Bar Refaeli – I probably would have put her with Tristan had Emmanuelle Chriqui not shown up on my wish list. She and Maks could be very interesting and his most fun pairing since Mel B. She’s smart, dedicated, and has a sense of humor. (Super Bowl ad, anyone?). She might be the one to make Maks fun again. Sure Kirstie was entertaining for a season and their relationship was amusing, but two seasons was overkill. Come on Maks, let’s see you break out the choreography for this one, but please, no more weird costumes. Go with the classic elegance, and you just might have a winner.
Val – Annie Barrett (Entertainment Weekly) – Just for fun. Yeah, she might have a thing for our Tristan but she and Val would be, um, energizing, I think. And Val needs to lighten up a little. Okay, a lot. Annie B is our choice as long as she would refuse to dance with a Speedo clad pro dancer.
Mark – Emily Maynard (or Katherine Webb) – I’m tired of reality show people being on DWTS, but it wouldn’t surprise me to see her as part of the cast, so I gave a big sigh and gave in on this one, figuring it's a given anyway. She was the very first one mentioned as a definite (which based on history means that she may or may not be part of the cast). Mark has had some ringers and he’s had some stinkers. Let’s see what he can do with Emily. If not Emily, they will probably cast Katherine Webb – she’s another hot rumor, and no way would they give Mark anyone who isn’t young and reasonably fit.
Wild Card: Henry – Kathy Griffin – Let’s see what’s you’ve got, Henry. Kathy would probably drive you crazy, but it would be entertaining. The censors would have a field day and ABC (and Henry) might very well pull their hair out, but the show often goes for shock value. Nothing more shocking than KG, and Henry just might be the one to make her into a dancer.
Anna – Ben Agosto – We’ve heard rumors of him for a while - but not lately. No matter, we know the miracles Anna can work on the dance floor when paired with a skater like Evan Lysacek, and as good as Evan was, Ben just might be better. Ben is one of the most graceful, artistic, and passionate ice dancers yet. Anna is due for this, and Ben Agosto just might get her that Mirror Ball Trophy that she deserves. Besides, the words to describe them would be sexy, sensual, and smoldering. How could that be a bad thing?
Peta – Ryan O’Neal – He’s been rumored, he’s been cast in the past, he supposedly dropped out for knee surgery, so bring him back but not with Anna, who deserves a legitimate shot. Besides, we want to see Peta’s choreography skills, and we don’t think she’s really tapped into that yet.
Cheryl – Troy Aikman – The former Dallas Cowboy and current football analyst has also been rumored a few times, and he would be just the right challenge for Cheryl. I think she could turn him into a respectable dancer. I thought about putting Troy with Karina, but I just can’t see a Cheryl/Anderson Cooper pair. Besides, Cheryl really does well with the athletes.
Karina – Anderson Cooper – Love this man, and I think Karina would be the perfect complement. Besides, the whole Kathy Griffin/Anderson Cooper nonsense from New Year’s Eve would be just the type of backstage footage that ABC thrives on.
Chelsie – Nicholas Gonzalez – Ever since I saw him on the short-lived ABC drama “Off the Map” I thought DWTS, and I want to see Chelsie turn up the sexy. My first choice would be for him to be with Anna, but Ben Agosto got in the way in such a fine, fine way. It’s time for Chelsie to get the hot sizzling leading man, and this man can make the temperatures rise in a hurry.
Emma – Ryan Lochte - My first thought was Chelsie here, but I think Emma could work wonders with the super gorgeous and talented Mr. Lochte – as long as he promises never to dance in a Speedo – and maybe not talk too much. I never want to see a Speedo again on DWTS or anywhere else, and if Emma does the talking in rehearsals and backstage, we should be good to go. I wouldn’t be too upset, however, if Chelsie ended up with Lochte and Emma with Nicholas Gonzalez. Either way would work.
Wild Card: Oksana – Morgan Hamm - Oksana has paid her dues, and it’s time for her to have a shot in the pro ranks. Pairing her up could be tricky, but I’m going with former gymnast Morgan (or Paul) Hamm. I think she’s a magnificent dancer, and I’m sure any celebrity would love to have her as his partner.
What Shakes said is correct. There are moments when we literally blurt out the same thoughts simultaneously. Then there are moments where we look at each other and think. ”How do I know you again?” To be fair, I did come up with my list before Shakes did and there was at least one person on her list that I gave a thought or two about (more on that below). I also think that her list is well thought out, and that these are people that I never thought of but can totally see being on Season 16. The people on my list were chosen based on the pattern of celebs that DWTS likes to choose every season. I've been trying to think strategically and therefore, these are my choices for the celebs of Season 16 and their respective pros.
Tristan and Danica McKellar - Okay, this is a partnership I've been dreaming about from the beginning. Just like Jennie Garth, Melissa Joan Hart, and Shannon Doherty, she hails from an early 90's TV show that is still wildly popular which heralds a pretty generous fan base. Danica played the adorable girl next door, Winnie Cooper on “The Wonder Years”. Tristan is our adorable and sexy boy next door of DWTS....any questions? She’s not an obvious ringer but she’s pretty and fit and is the kind of celebrity who would get better every week. And isn’t that what DWTS is all about? Not only have I thought a lot about this partnership but I even know what song these two could have for a Cha Cha on the Season 16 premiere....”Domino” by Jessie J. Fun and flirty, these two would be in perfect harmony.
Tony and Beverly DiAngelo - Has anyone actually seen Beverly DiAngelo these days? The woman has basically remained untouched by Father Time since the early 80's. DWTS always likes to have an over 50's stunner every season and Beverly is just the ticket. At first I thought that she'd be good for Maks but then I thought that Tony would be a better fit for this sensuous and classy woman. They would be steamy.
Sasha and Sasha Cohen - Oh come on, dont' tell me that the idea of hearing Tom Bergeron say “The next couple safe is....Sasha and Sasha” doesn't make you giggle just a little. It’s a brilliant match. Sasha Cohen is a real firecracker, and Sasha Farber is pretty much the same. Talk about the amazing energy brought to the show through this partnership.
Mark and Jo Jo - Jo Jo is a young female pop star who has been very popular for the younger teenage girl set and therefore I feel would fill that Disney Kid void that DWTS likes to fill every other year. She's cute, perky, a little bit edgy and would totally complement Mark and his zany spat dance tendencies.
Val and Lisa Loeb - Following in the footsteps of Belinda Carlisle and Chynna Phillips, Lisa Loeb would be a great candidate for DWTS. She has an iconic 90's song “ Stay “ which I still know verbatim from my high school days as a “Reality Bites” grunge connoisseur. Val could bring out her sexy side and I just think that it would be interesting to see where she'd place in the competition.
Maks and Lucy Lawless - Maks is the only man who could handle the Xena Warrior Princess...or maybe not. Lucy Lawless has to be one tough cookie to be able to physically pull off that role. Not only is she strong and gorgeous but the rehearsal footage and team dynamic alone would be enough to stay tuned. Talk, about fire, fun, and finesse. Lucy and Maks could very well be the talk of Season 16.
Chelsie and Tyler Florence – This may seem like an odd choice but I just remember how much I loved seeing Rocco DiSpirito when he was on the show many moons ago and how charming it was to have a celebrity chef on the show. Tyler Florence is a good looking man and he and Chelsie would look good together. Not to mention his giant Food Network following would be a huge advantage.
Emma and Taylor Hanson - I know Shakes is shaking her head as we speak at this choice, but the truth remains that there is always room on the DWTS celeb panel for another boy band pick. Yes, I'll admit it, I used to be a huge Hanson fan so you'd think I was biased, but in reality Taylor Hanson is just the next in line of boy band stars to be on the show. He's tall, soft spoken, and charming, and Emma is gorgeous and elegant and would be a great choice of pro for him.
Kym and Jeff Probst - I’m actually surprised that they haven’t asked Jeff to be on the show yet, or maybe they have and he refused or is too busy with all he does. He’s your sort of typical B list celebrity that you’d see on DWTS. He’s also not bad to look at and Kym seems to fit his personality. On a more cynical note, I think it would also be interesting to have him on the chopping block for once, since he usually is the person who gets to send people home on Survivor. (Note: I do think that Anderson Cooper would be good with Kym as well. That's one of my favorite choices from Shakes' list)
Cheryl and Joel McHale - I know ya’ll are thinking “Huh?” when I mention this partnership, but every show needs a token comic relief and Joel could do it for us. For those of you who aren’t familiar with him, he is the host of E’s The Soup, which is a show that makes fun of reality shows, including DWTS. Joel even made harmless digs at Nancy when she was on the show, and he also seemed to sympathize with Tristan. The irony alone of having him on the show would be enough to get people watching. And although Cheryl is normally partnered with Latin lovers this would also help us see how creative she could really me.
Anna and Nathan Adrian - Ryan Lochte was actually my original pick for Anna but there's a reason that I chose Nathan for DWTS. I knew I wanted Anna paired with an Olympic swimmer but I felt like Ryan Lochte or Michael Phelps would be so popular that they'd overshadow the rest of the competition. I'm all for keeping things on an even playing field. Enter Nathan Adrian, 3 time Olympic Gold Medalist with killer abs. If you don't believe me just Google him and see that million dollar smile. And the killer abs.
Karina and Kevin Sorbo - So DWTS needs their distinguished older male celeb on the list, and Kevin is just the man for the job. Think distinguished gentleman, but way more hunky. Jack Wagner was a good idea and left us wanting more, so if Kevin was on the show we just might all need a fan or two to cool off. Paired with Karina, these two would smolder. Okay, I'll admit it. The thought of seeing Xena and Hercules battle it out on the dance floor would be enough for anyone to want to tune in.
And there you have it. The Shakes and SWAT not-too-reliable or accurate Season 16 predictions. Are they perfect or what? And what do you think the chances are that any of these will turn out to be right. We think probably zero because facts are facts. We suck at this predicting stuff.