Season 18 - What Could Happen (but probably won't)

Things are starting to heat up with regard to Season 18 rumors, but who really knows how many of those rumors are going to actually materialize into reality?  If our track record is any indication, we will have a prediction success rate of zero percent, but it still is fun to speculate.  So yes, we’re speculating again with some wild and crazy scenarios.

Tristan – Nastia Liukin – Normally we would say that she would be off limits because of her studies, and we aren’t even sure if she’s finished with them or not, but we do know she is in Sochi for the Olympics as a special correspondent  or reporter or something which means she is not in New York at NYU.  The timing is perfect, and the timing for Tristan is perfect too.  Gymnasts don’t have to go to Mark, Derek, or Sasha, and Tristan is the equal of every pro on DWTS in every department, but he excels especially in one category; he knows how to tell the story to fit the choreography. This would be a perfect partnership.  She is 24 years old, she is 5’3” tall, and it seems like the perfect all-around DWTS team to us.  Classic ballroom, sexy Latin – all of it works.  Oh yeah, and we don’t have to have crazy gymnastics to prove the point.  Option 2:  Vanessa Williams – Ringer?  Well, duh.  She was in a dance film Dance With Me With Chayanne, but she’s no more a ringer than Jennifer Grey, Elizabeth Berkley, etc. etc.  She’s 50, 5’6” tall and we are already imagining the Rumba/Tango/Paso possibilities.  Option 3:  Vanessa Marcil, age 43, 5’3”.  She would bring in the General Hospital voting block which is always good. Option 4: Helen Mirren – Yes, she is 68 but the woman is smokin' and still doing action movies and has gotten nekked more than once on screen even in her golden years. We still want Tristan with a younger partner, but this is the exception that would make us salivate. She may be a little too A-list for the show but we can hope.

Derek - Lori Loughlin – Actuially Lee Meriwether is our first choice for Derek but we all know DWTS would never, ever pair Derek with a partner over the age of 55 (and probably not 45 again) and Lee is 78.  Tristan would likely earn the honor, but more on that later.  This is almost too easy but we say Lori and Derek would be a good pairing. She is 49 and 5’6” so there’s no problem there.   Of Full House fame (and much, much more), she would bring the energy and fun that we all want to see. The only problem is that she has a TV series When Calls the Heart which currently airs on the Hallmark Channel.  We have no clue how that would work but we think  she would be a decent cast addition.

Sasha - America Ferrera - His inaugural season as a pro was kind of a no-brainer; who better to partner Snooki than Sasha? He was perfect and did a magnificent job. If we had to name a top pro for Season 17, it would be Sasha because nobody thought we would really like Snooki, and we did.  That is, in large part, to Sasha’s skills as a teacher and choreographer.  Anyway, he earned a repeat performance, but this time he should have a little bit of a challenge – in other words someone without the gymnastics/dance background. Who better than America Ferrera?  Adorable.  She’s perfect height-wise at 5’1”, she’s 29, and she’s funny.  Heck, she would be great with Tristan too.  Come to think of it, there isn’t a bad one for Tristan. Why? Because he’s got the magic.

Sharna - Cody Simpson -  Forget Witney for this one.  Sharna is a seasoned pro who could take this young man and make him a contender.  Karina ended up making Aaron Carter a good dancer (relatively), and we think pairing Cody with a young pro like Witney or Lindsay is way too predictable and would probably not yield the desired result.  Granted we might not get to see the sexy Samba we would like to see Sharna do (she can dance a pro dance with Tristan instead), but she could make Cody into a real dancer and showcase her great choreography skills.

Emma - Mark Consuelos -  Now we have no reason whatsoever for throwing him on this list other than we think his striking good looks combined with Emma’s blondeness would be smoking hot and might take her straight back to the finals.  Anybody have a problem with this one?

Karina - Corbin Bernson – He’s 59 and he is another random choice.  We don’t see them ageing down the cast as much as they say they will.  Just look at Season 17.  ABC said they wanted a younger cast and the average age went up instead.  Corbin has been around a while, he's a heck of an actor, and we would like to see Karina have to really teach again. Besides, it would be fun to see with Karina with partners named Corbin for two consecutive seasons - two very different partners.

Peta - Bruce Jenner – We’ve had a couple of Kardashian-free seasons, and even though Mr. Jenner isn’t technically a Kardashian, we wouldn’t be surprised to see a whole mess of the family in the audience.  The obvious pro partner choice is Cheryl, but we say, nope, it’s time for Peta to step it up.  She has had a rather easy run of it the last few seasons, being blessed with fit, agile, popular partners.  Bruce is an Olympian who won the decathlon and was once labeled “the greatest athlete in the world.” He’s now 64 and there are so many rumors surrounding him lately that who knows what is truth and what is reality?  He would probably have fun, he supposedly wants to do the show, so why not? Option 2: Stephen Collins - We're kind of wondering what Rev. Camden from 7th has been up to, and he's the perfect type of celebrity to be on DWTS.

Kym -John Stamos –  Mr. Stamos has been rumored so many times, that we think the time is just right, and Kym is the perfect partner.  If it wasn’t for the fact that Tristan is going to be holding up the mirror ball trophy at the end of Season 18, we would say Kym and John would be a lock.  We can visualize oodles of chemistry, lots of fun, and plenty of sexiness.  It’s all good, and there isn’t a single negative that we can think of.

Cheryl - Jeremy Abbott –  He’s the current U.S. Figure Skating champ, he’s off to the Sochi Olympics, he just competed in what he said would be his last U.S. championship, and he’s 28. He’s not a household name - yet - but if he pulls an Evan Lysacek in the Olympics he soon could be.  He is supposed to do Stars on Ice in the spring, but Evan did it during his DWTS season and it worked out great. Besides the SOI schedule isn’t nearly as extensive as it was in Season 10.  This could be fun. He’s tall like Evan so we would see great lines and extension. Option 2: Charlie White – We still think this is a very real possibility. Charlie is handsome, and blonde and would look great with Cheryl. He is also a hard worker and would take direction from her well.

Tony - Lee Meriwether - This isn’t that far out of left field because we know that if Lee happens to be cast (why not? She’s been rumored season after season) then the likely pairing would be Tristan, BUT, America would stage a revolt like you’ve never seen before if Tristan has yet another partner that more than doubles his age.  Nothing against Lee Meriwether; she’s beautiful, talented, and fit.  She’s 78 years old and 5’9”. (As we mentioned further up in this blog, Derek would be our first choice, and forget her height. If Val can dance with Zendaya and Elizabeth then Derek can dance with Lee, but ABC would never let it happen.)  Option 2: Linda Evans from Dynasty and Big Valley fame.  She’s a beauty who is 71 and 5’8” tall.  (Regarding Derek as an alternative, he  could tailor his choreography for these ladies this time around and could probably give us some great ballroom dances that follow all of Len’s criteria.) Option 3: Lisa Kudrow.  Ever since it was rumored that a yogurt spokesperson was going to be on DWTS in Season 17 we thought Lisa would be a great choice. She was the tallest of the female “Friends” so she would pair nicely together with Tony. And let's face it, every season we say that he needs to take a season off, but he never does. We don’t mind too much. He is a gentleman, has a ton of fun with his celebrity partners, and can still give Derek and Mark a run for their money on the dance floor. We haven't had someone from Friends on the show yet, and we think it's about time.

Mark - Jo Dee Messina – She’s 43, 5’3” and might not be enough of a challenge for Mark, considering the fact that he has had some major ringer material for most seasons, but she was almost in last season (or so we heard). She wanted to do the show then but it didn’t work out, so why not now?

Val – Diana Nyad – Every since he appeared on Katie and did an impromptu dance with Diana, we can’t get this idea out of our heads.  This swimming legend wants to be on DWTS, DWTS will probably have its official Twitter explode if Val gets another ringer, and Diana is extremely likable.  Val seemed to enjoy the experience on Katie and was more charming than we had ever seen him.  She’s 64, still ridiculously fit, so why not? Challenge time, Val.

The Unlikely Backup plans:

Nicolette Sheridan - Maks (or Gleb) – Ever since Maks left DWTS they've hinted at him coming back so we might as well give him a celebrity...just in case.  We don't know how far these two would get into rehearsals without the claws coming out, but they'd be hot on the dance floor. Tall, dark, and handsome Maks with a sultry blonde Nicolette...very hot.  Gleb is our preferred alternative, though, and they would be delicious.

Teri Hatcher – Gleb (or Henry) - It kind of makes sense, you know? She's another desperate housewife and he's the handsome cabana boy. Well that's how we see it anyway. Teri would be an interesting pick and if DWTS wants to give Gleb any chance of making it as a pro then they need to give him someone well known with a pretty decent fan base.  Option 2 :Kim Cattrell, for the exact same reasons as Option 1. Basically Gleb needs to work the boy toy fantasy possibilities and get some votes from the female viewers at home.  He would succeed.  


So what do you guys think?