Stupid Ways To Ramble On About Nothing

Have you ever noticed that when it gets to be near the end of the Dancing With the Stars season, we start finding ridiculous things to write about? This season is no exception, and this time, we kept thinking back to those crazy honors that are given out to the Senior class in high school.  Some call them Senior Awards; some call them Senior Superlatives.  We decided that should apply to the craziness that is Dancing With the Stars too.  So just like high school, we are giving out our “Senior Superlatives” – or what we call “Stupid Ways To Ramble On About Nothing."  Most need no explanation, but we explained them anyway because we're a little weird like that.  So here they are:

Most Likely To Catch Pneumonia – Peta and Emma (for obvious reasons)

Most Likely To Cause Heart Palpitations – Tristan (for really obvious reasons)

Most Likely To Make Us Want To Delete His Twitter Account – Val the Hashtag.  We mean Val.

Most Likely To Make Us Want to Delete Her Twitter Account – Elizabeth the Hashtag. We mean Elizabeth.

Most Likely To Use Instagram To Do A Little Self-Promotion – Val and Derek (don’t they get tired of looking at themselves? A photo of them with Tristan would be a nice change of pace.)

Most Likely To Be the Next Spokesman for L’Oreal Hair Products – Tristan’s Bedhead

Most Likely To Be the Spokesperson For Dr. Ace Bandage, Orthopedic Surgeon – Amber,  Valerie, and their pesky knees

Most Likely To Make Excuses and Then Say The Excuses Aren’t Excuses – Derek ("we won't use Amber's knees as a crutch" and "Amber couldn't walk at all on Sunday..."  and "we didn't rehearse but three hours all week" - shall we go on?)

Mostly Likely To Get Pissed Off At Julianne Hough and Then Say He Isn’t Pissed Off At Julianne Hough – Mark

Most Entertaining Celebrity – Ever – Bill Engvall

Most Likely To Suffocate From Excessive Feathers – Emma and her bustles

Most Likely To Be the Next Spokesman for Crest Without Blinding Us With A Shiny Glare – Tristan MacManus

Most Likely To Get A Ringer in Season 18 – Derek, Karina, Mark, Peta, and everybody but Tristan

Most Deserving To Get A Ringer In Season 18 – Sharna and Tristan

Most Interesting Costume Choices In A Good Way – Cheryl and Jack, Tristan and Valerie, Sasha and Snooki

Most Interesting Costume Choices in A Bad Way – Peta, Peta, and Peta

Most Likely to Require An Enlarged Door So That the Head Will Fit Through It – Tony after this season

Most Likely to Be A Perpetual Echo – Leah “I am not a professional dancer” Remini

Most Likely to Never Whine or Make Excuses Regardless of Circumstances – Valerie and Tristan

Most Likely to Explode Because Of A Puffed Up Chest Award – Maks and Val

Most Likely To Never Wear The Valentin Collection – All the pros – except Val

Most Likely To Be The Only One Shocked – Elizabeth and Val (What was so shocking?)

Most Likely to Forever Be Named A Ridiculous Ringer – Corbin

Most Likely To Cause A Furor Among Women Of the World – Trio Dance Week Season 17 which somehow left Tristan off the list. Duh, people.  That was stupid.  All 6 pros who did that.

Most Likely To Make Us Say Whodathunkit – Snooki (Yep, we like her)

Most Likely to Put Us Into a Coma If It Doesn’t Give Us Raging Migraines First – Season 17

Most Likely To Breakout Into A Backflip At Any Moment – Sasha (he’s been backflip deprived)

Most Likely To Be Forgotten – Mark and….. (we forgot who his partner was), also the Troupe (who’s in it again?)

Sexiest New Twitter Accounts – @TristansBedhead, @ItsTristansTurn, and @TristanDWTS_S18

Most Likely To Be Accused of Crazy and Ridiculous Pimpage – MacManiacs for setting up sexy new twitter accounts such as @TristansBedhead, @ItsTristansTurn, and @TristanDWTS_S18

Most Likely to Be Driving People Crazy With Excessive Twitter Rants Until Late February, 2014 – MacManiacs (for obvious reasons)

Most Wasted Talent – To ABC for wasting the popularity and talent of their best pro

Had enough yet?  Oh, we’re just getting started…..