In theory, the title is self-explanatory but nothing is ever quite that simple here at MacMusings. This time it’s all about what’s hot and what isn’t on DWTS, and as always, we are brutally honest. That doesn’t mean, however, that we said everything we thought; believe it or not, we did edit out a lot of good material. Yeah, censorship is such a pain – and we are the ones censoring ourselves. We don't want anyone whining and saying, “Oh that was so mean…” Go figure. Let’s move on to our very polite and politically correct version of What's Hot and What's Not.
Tristan MacManus – Who else? It would be wrong of us to not put Mr. MacManus right at the top of our “What’s Hot” or rather our “Who’s Hot” list. Why? Well, besides the good looks, charm, and delicious sense of humor, the man has danced his way right into our hearts. He has made suspenders iconic, he has somehow made Samba Rolls the most anticipated dance step for Season 16, and when we get word that Tristan will be dancing we begin hyperventilating. We don’t hyperventilate over anyone else. So yeah, he’s hot.
The idea of a non-All-Star DWTS Season – Here’s the thing. Season 15 and the season of the All Stars was just exhausting. From the crazy thematic dances that made no sense (and never seemed to work) to the constant changing of the rules, wacky scoring system, and diva-ish behavior of pros and celebrities, we couldn’t wait for the dancing to stop. Now we can’t wait for it to start and that’s because the All Stars season is behind us forever and ever. We hope.
Sasha Farber – Besides the fact that he has backflipped and seduced us all for three seasons as a troupe member, we keep going back the same things: the charisma, the charm, and the raw strength. He’s a keeper. There are two firecrackers on DWTS – one is named Anna Trebunskaya; the other is Sasha Farber. Nobody, and we mean nobody, matches his energy and his precision. We keep going back to what he did with Karina and Apolo in the Jive Trio. Now THAT was impressive. He’s the consummate pro, whether he is a shining star of the Troupe or a pro competing with a celebrity. The bottom line? Mr. Farber is a keeper. Besides, he puts up with us and answers an endless supply of questions that we keep throwing at him. Nice work, Sasha. Your fan base just keeps growing and growing.
Fusion Dances – Assuming DWTS ever comes up with a plan for a fusion dance so that there is consistency, this could be a fun dance style. Last season? Not so much. Some pros felt a fusion dance meant half the dance would be one style, half the other style while other pros blended the two styles and changed it up repeatedly during the dance. Just don’t make it a hustle/waltz or country two step/Charleston or we will rethink this.
Season 16 – Oh yeah. We are stoked, inspired, rejuvenated, and dare we say – exhilarated by the thought of something not an all-star season which was such a big stinky mess of desperation that we only liked the weeks when Tristan danced in a pro dance. It was a yawner. Literally. That not voting stuff got to us. It was our civic duty…er, we mean our welovetristansoweneedtovotelotsandlots duty. We felt like we were neglecting him.
Sleep deprivation – Yep. It’s time. Once Monday, March 18, rolls around the voting also begins and we start at 8 p.m. EST and don’t finish until all of those voting accounts are voted. We’re not telling how many of those voting accounts there are exactly.
Physical conditioning/exercise/heart rate acceleration – Now don’t go crazy and think we’ve become athletes all of a sudden. We are all for some cardio and a few Salsa dance lessons to get the physical fitness routine jump started, but we’re talking about something else here. Physical conditioning – as in getting the typing hand limber and ready so that carpal tunnel won’t be an issue beginning March 18. By exercise? Practice your Samba, Foxtrot, and Jive but also park a fair distance from Starbucks (so you can walk a little back and forth) before meeting friends and recruiting new friends to vote for Tristan and the Season 16 ringer, who will be his partner. Heart rate acceleration? That’s easy. Just go into our gallery every couple of days. That should do it. Physical conditioning.
The Samba – besides the fact that all those Samba rolls are, well, hot, Tristan MacManus dancing a Samba is especially fever-inducing. We haven’t seen his sexy Samba-ing self since Design A Dance with Chelsie in Season 14, and we need to see it again soon. A few Rumbas would be good too. Throw in a Lambada and a Bolero, and we’re good for a couple of days.
Bending the rules for artistic license – There is a huge difference between bending the rules and breaking the rules. Even we know that certain ballroom and Latin dances have certain elements and there are specific no-nos, however, we also recognize that sometimes circumstances dictate that the boundaries be pushed. This doesn’t mean that you break hold when the rules strictly forbid it, or you throw in a lift just for the hell of it when the rules say ‘no.’ Pushing the boundaries is hot, but in your face defiance of the rules is not.
DWTS All Stars – That was our least favorite season so far and there have been a few stinkers. Several of our favorite celebrities from previous seasons became nightmares and divas in Season 15, and it turned us off of the show. The fact that Tristan and Pamela didn’t have a chance didn’t sit well either.
Driving everybody crazy on Twitter - Using social media is smart, but when it results in endless (and we mean endless) self-promotion, 8000 retweets when somebody dares to mention even the initials or a possibility of a possibility of a name, and 512 random people retweeting it just because a certain pro or celebrity's name is mentioned….it is a turn-off and makes us frown which gives us wrinkles. It also makes us “unfollow.” Sometimes less is more. No, forget that. Less is always more. A few well-timed tweets are so much more effective than a barrage of retweets of every tweet in which a pro or celebrity is just mentioned and the content of said tweets is something really important like, "He/She is eating bagels." I know that my day begins and ends with bagel watch so I can speculate about the season, but really? Enough already.
Skin – Okay, we all have it, but some pros and celebrities like to show way too much of it, and when we can count the pores and freckles, then we know too much is being revealed. Yes, for a few pros, we would like to see more; for most, cover it up please.
Waxed chests – Sigh. This is a conundrum. It’s fine to wax ‘em if that’s your personal preference, but we don’t need to see the same nekked chests every single week, whether they are waxed or not. Come on various and assorted male pros who shall remain nameless, we love you, but could you sell the dance on your extraordinary skills instead of trying to sell it on the shininess of your skin?
Speedos – Not that we’ve ever mentioned it before, but Speedos are not hot. On anybody. Unless your name is Ryan Lochte or Michael Phelps or Nathan Adrian and unless you are getting ready for an Olympic swim, dancing in Speedos is illegal. We’re positive.
Breaking the rules of ballroom – See “bending the rules” in What’s Hot. You’ll see where we’re going with it.
Lifts, lifts, and more lifts – We saw so many of them in Season 15 that we got dizzy. Lifts are great when appropriate (case in point: Evan and Anna’s spectacular helicopter lift in their Argentine Tango – Season 10). When a dance is choreographed with more lifts than dance, it’s time to call the dance police. Or make sure the lift police is there. A couple of appropriate lifts that add to the artistry of a dance are one thing but when basic elements of dance are missing so the circus can go on, well, that’s wrong. If we wanted to watch the circus, we would do so.
The biggest ‘What’s Not’ of all? Recycled choreography. Recycled music. Recycled feathers, er, we mean costumes - Pro #1 duplicates Pro #2's choreography and is praised as brilliant when Pro #2 was criticized for it the first time around. There are millions of songs out there and particularly in Season 13 and 14, we saw some iconic performances to very identifiable songs attempt to be recreated by other pros to the same music. It didn’t work. The original is always better. No recycling on the dance floor, por favor. Our recycling is picked up every other Monday morning, and we don't wish to see it on national television on Monday evenings.
Consistency – Lordy, Season 15 tried our patience. The inconsistency in judging made us consider indulging in tequila shots, and the inconsistency in some of the pros themselves made us consider going into the backyard and screaming from the top of our respective lungs. Consistency went out the window in Season 15, and it is time for it to be back. By the way? This wasn't the fault of the pros - the blame goes straight to the gimmick inventor, whoever he is.
Making us wait – The biggest “What’s Not” is that we have to wait another week for the cast announcement, and that’s really not good enough. We won’t tell anybody, ABC. Please? Just tell us Tristan will be back with the best possible celebrity who has an enormous fan base, a few million twitter followers, and who uses social media like it’s going out of style. Oh yeah. We also hope that she has a gazillion years dance/acting/singing/entertaining experience but is also in the Tristan age range. Thank you.