Photo Courtesy of ABC
The Paso Trio. The Trio Paso. The non-Paso according to Grumpy Len. Clearly, he wasn't paying attention. Whatever you want to call it, it was kind of a masterpiece, and a big part of that masterpiece was due to the energy brought by Tristan to the number along with the chemistry he had with Kellie and Derek. It was believable, passionate, intense, dark, and sexy as hell, and yes, we admit to being a little obsessed by it. And in true MacManus style, it told a story. Granted, Derek created the story, but it's questionable if it would have been told so well without our favorite leading man bringing his presence to the stage.
So we decided we are both a little bit obsessed with this dance - to the extent that we decided that it made sense to tell you all about that. Therefore, we give you "Ten Reasons Why You Know You're Obsessed with the Paso Trio" - SWAT and Shakes style.
1. You can’t get these words out of your head – and you remember the exact time they were spoken about the Paso Doble: “It’s about being as big as possible…and about kicking as much...ass as possible.” The Trio Paso was definitely a déjà vu moment. When Tristan said those prophetic words to Nancy Grace, we had no idea how appropriate they would be in Season 16. Anybody want to argue about the kicking ass stuff that went on Week 8, Season 16?
2. Instead of humming “Don’t Worry, Be Happy” by Bobby McFerrin, you happily hum (and whistle) “Unstoppable” by E. S. Posthumus. There’s nothing like a pounding, driving rhythm to say, “Good morning everybody. Lovely day, isn’t it? Want syrup or strawberries on your waffles?”
3. You don’t even have to think about the theme, the story, the characters, or the plot. Ladies and Gentleman, this was a story of danger, passion, intensity, and maybe just a little (or a lot) of lust. Not that I would ever think about lust and naughty things like that in terms of a dance. Nope. Not me.
4. You stand in front of your mirror for an indecently long time just thinking that at any time now that sucker is going to splinter apart and Tristan MacManus is going to step through and whisk you off to the dark underworld where who knows what will happen. I’m sure a dark underworld has an upside…
5. You are considering wearing only black from now on.
6. The words “Welcome. Come on into me world” have taken on a whole new meaning.
7. You wouldn’t mind dancing with Derek as long as Tristan was involved. In fact, it might be kind of hot.
8. You wouldn't mind dancing with Kellie as long was Tristan was involved. What the heck. It’s time to be wild and crazy for once.
9. After seeing the darkness of the “other side” you have a whole new respect for “The Devil Went Down To Georgia.” Mephistopheles returned but with a new kind of hotness minus the excessive makeup but with the guyliner and the smoldering dark contact lenses that make the female hormones do interesting things. Talk about loving the bad boys.
10. You told your husband that from now on when you watch DWTS you expect for your entire family room to be filled with fog. Just for atmosphere. Besides, in this little fantasy world you never know who might appear out of the fog.
1.The word “stalk” no longer pertains to obsessed jilted ex-lovers or green vegetables. It now is synonymous with Tristan MacManus and all of that machismo.
2.“Unstoppable” by E.S. Posthumus has now become your anthem. Not only is it the first thing you hear in your head every morning, but it's also on your iPod as your workout music. Forget “Eye of the Tiger” and pretending you are training for a marathon. “Unstoppable” gives you that epic “I'm running into battle with my sword of truth” kind of feeling....very inspirational...or crazy...whichever.
3.You realize the naked truth about your possible addictive tendencies that may have never surfaced until now.“ Just one more time” does you no good when you spend your entire evening wearing down your computer fan while watching the Paso over and over and over.
4. We realize that for such a sweet, lovable guy, Tristan really is the best at playing a true “Bad Boy” to the fullest. Generally I'm all for using “The Force” for the good of mankind and all that...but um....if Tristan has anything to do with the dark side, well then I only have one thing to say. Sign. Me. Up.
5. You're secretly hoping that your makeup mirror falls off of the counter and smashes so Evil Tristan will pop out and exclaim “Welcome. Come on into me world”. And they say breaking a mirror was seven years bad luck. Come to think of it seven is also Tristan's lucky number.
6. Tristan and those damn little details really have a big impact on you. The way he uses his hands to create just that extra bit of artistic macabre. The strength of his posture yet the darkness of his demeanor as he approaches Derek as they come through the mirror. It's pure, dark perfection.
7. You strain your eyes way to hard trying to envision what Tristan is doing when he goes off to the side for Kellie and Derek's dance. He backs off of the set so smoothly and then reappears as if he never left his stance in the first place. Is he just standing there on the sidelines still in character and waiting to stalk his prey - or what? I want to know.
8. Tristan is the King of the Trio dance, the Paso Doble, and the Guyliner. He's also the King of Darkness in this dance, and he also just happens to also be the Lord High Executioner of Bedhead....uh....I just need some sleep.
9. You're waiting for Kellie to come to her senses during the dance and let the Irish Prince of Black Contact Lenses overcome her and leave Derek to wander around in the fog all by himself.
10. You still - even after watching the freakin' thing on You Tube at least 100 times - sit there will your mouth hanging open because you still have no words to describe how it makes you feel. A drool bucket helps in this case. Remember we have some sparkly green ones in stock for dire times like these.
The End. You're probably happy about that, too, but don't worry, we'll be back soon with more ridiculousness.