[Shakespeare] When SWAT and I started pondering Part 2 of our wildly popular Anatomy Musings series (just a bit of an exaggeration), we knew we had to spend some time on the hair. Okay, maybe most serious blogs don’t go to such incredible depths of shallowness, but we go with what works for us – and what we talk about – and it’s usually shallow stuff. I knew immediately that there was no way I was going to let SWAT have a go at the bedhead hair or the sexy facial stubble. Nuh uh. Not a chance. Why you ask? Because that would have landed her in the dungeon forever, and then I would have to write this thing alone. Besides, when we were picking and choosing who got to do what and the first idea tossed out was bedhead, I jumped up and down and yelled, “DIBS!” Then, of course, when stubble was mentioned and became a definite ‘yes’, I asked really nicely to take that one myself because that whole look is so bad boy. That meant that I was transmitted back to the Bad Boy Blog which then moved me on to the stubble-rama which was recently in place on Mr. MacManus – a look that made the ladies swoon (including me); we went from clean shaven to scruffy and then on to advanced scruffy but never to the super-advanced scruffy look that Maks sported in recent photos – a look reminiscent of a werewolf or something – something not very sexy (sorry, Maks, but ick). Besides, SWAT insisted on writing a treatise on the chest hair, so I got the stubble and the right to censor and/or edit what she writes so that we don’t end up in deep trouble.
Batten down the hatches, and settle in for a good one. Of course, I’ve already written an epic-length blog before I even get started on the good stuff. Figures. It’s that whole writer thing in me.
Bed. Head. Two words. Now one word – bedhead. It’s not even in the dictionary but should be because it suggests exactly what you think it suggests, and nobody wears it better than Tristan (kind of like SWAT and I decided that he wears sweat well too, but that’s another blog for another time). There’s the really wild bedhead from the picture of Tristan and Nancy holding that poster - pouting lips out as they shamelessly pimped for votes. That was cute bedhead. Then there is the dead sexy bedhead – the ‘you know you want me bedhead’ - as is obviously apparent in, oh, almost every picture of Tristan. Men pay hundreds of dollars to get that look, and I’m thinking Tristan is just a natural bedhead.
And then there’s the stubble that I touched on briefly. Without going into a lot of detail, detail that would probably land me in a dungeon somewhere near the Arctic Circle, let’s just say that the bedhead and the stubble work together really well. It’s that whole innately sensual, pure raw sex appeal nonsense that we were spouting off about on the forum a few days ago; it’s natural, it’s sexy, it’s hot, it’s Tristan and it drive us crazy.
As I said on MML, see y’all in yonder dungeon.
[SWAT] I'm not even going to act like I don’t belong in the dungeon. Like others before me (cough Shakespeare cough), I have been tossed right in. Several times. I’ve been waiting patiently because I knew that once Shakespeare was done with her unassuming bedhead and stubble lust rant (which by the way....was superb), that next it was my turn to express my most humble opinions on something that we all know has been sort of a hobby of mine.
But first I have to comment on the fact that I completely concur with Shakespeare.....Tristan is most definitely a natural bedhead, and in the oddest of coincidences, so am I. For some reason, however, my natural bedheadedness doesn't ooze sexiness like Tristan's does. Mine is more like the Tumbleweed Natural Bedhead that is both rare and frightening. Conversely, Tristan has Swagger Bedhead, and statistics show that only .9999999% of men can pull that off (yes, I made that up).
Now onto the chest hair....I almost forgot. Distractions, you know. So it's only natural that when Shakespeare and I decided to do Anatomy Musings about Tristan's hair, I got dibs on the chest hair. And this is where I have to be really careful and somehow turn crass into class. Shakes warned me to behave or else. I’m not sure what the ‘or else’ consists of, but I’m trying really hard to be good.
I recall the first and only time that I was ever quoted by Wetpaint in their MacManiac expose. Out of all of the witty things that I wrote on the ABC message board, my only quote was in reference to the chest hair. Figures, doesn’t it? Yes, this is true, but it all starts with my disdain of the stuff.
I don’t like chest hair. Never have....never will. In fact, when I think of it, two male celebrities come to mind -Andy Garcia, and Robin Williams. My friends, these are undoubtedly the hairiest men on the big screen and I'm not saying this like it's a good thing. So, when the inevitable moment arrived and I got my first glimpse of Tristan in week 1 chatting with Nancy (this was where she referred to him as a leprechaun), and he had a bit of chest hair peeking out from the neck of his t-shirt, my initial reaction was “Ugh.” I should have been kicked out of the MacManiacs before we even began.
My eyes opened – I mean, they really, really opened during Week 4, and things got interesting fast. Tristan, in full matadorial splendor, walked down those stairs wearing a red jacket - sans shirt. I suddenly began to see things from an entirely new perspective. I didn't want to zone in on the chest because that is so shallow, but I did anyway. Blame it on Nancy. The cameras zoomed in, and Nancy, comb in hand…..well you know what happened. It looked even better up close. Now don’t go and act like you’re offended or outraged by me talking about this; every single report from that evening highlighted his gloriousness. So get over it. Remember that WetPaint “Sexiest Shirtless Pro” poll that came out right after what we call ‘the full chest disclosure’? The last time I checked, Tristan was steamrolling the competition with 67% of the votes. We are not alone, MacManiacs.
My friends...it was definitely glorious! Of course, ABC decided that look for Tristan was too glorious, and they continue to taunt us. He hasn’t been shirtless since. That sucks.
So did I manage to turn crass into class yet?